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A Long Time Ago, in a D/s Relationship Far Far Away…

As ML was riding my cock the other day, I couldn’t help but think: GOD, I WANNA CUM SO BAD.

No, that wasn’t it. Well, it was, but that wasn’t all of it. There’s a point to this post, other than the fact that I’m desperate for an orgasm.

ML was riding me in this special way, where we both say she does it “like a guy.” My legs end up spread and her legs are together between mine, and she grinds herself down on my cock. It’s one of her favorite ways to ride me, and she’s done it that way ever since the first time we were together.

As she rubbed her pussy up and down my throbbing cock, I started to think back on our relationship.

ML and I were always horny as fuck for each other from the very start. There was this one time where I spent literally all day eating her pussy in order to see how many orgasms I could give her in a day (the answer, by the way, was 37). That was part of an entire weekend we spent in a room together, pretty much fucking in some sense for every moment possible, making the whole room smell like sex in the process.

We were no strangers to kink. We dabbled in some bondage as well as some tease and denial. And through it all, ML was always the dominant one. It was natural, it was fun, and it was good. We had damn good fucking sex.

Now, our sex life has evolved into where we are today. Chastity wasn’t just a natural extension of our kinkiness, it was almost inevitable. ML was always the aggressive one, she was the one in control. I was always submissive, the one willing to serve. Chastity just makes our roles that much more defined. Orgasm denial makes our experience that much more intense.

The Chaste Sub Mindset

I must admit, I haven’t been the best sub that I can be lately.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been disobedient or resistant. I haven’t been cranky or irritable. I haven’t whined or begged… too much (My Lady loves a little bit of desperation, after all!). I’ve been very giving with both my time and energy lately, doing whatever I can to please My Lady. The problem isn’t what I am doing or not doing. The problem is the reasons and motivations behind my actions.

My motivation for pleasing ML is pretty much expected at this point in my denial – I’m goddamn horny as fuck with a heaping side of blue balls. After a solid month of being teased nearly nonstop by the sexiest woman I’ve even known and not being allowed to cum, I guess I can’t be blamed much for that. But as much as ML loves the desperate state of aching horniness that I’m currently in, it sometimes works against my subby mindset. I’ll explain.

I’ve written before about how much I love to lick My Lady’s pussy. I love how she tastes, I love how her body reacts when I give her sweet kisses on her clit. I love it when she moans when I shove my tongue as far into her pussy as I possibly can. I love how her pussy walls squeeze my tongue when I wiggle it around inside her. I love how her body shudders when I swirl my tongue around her clit. And it feels great when I give her a nice, loud, intense orgasm with just my mouth.

And now here’s the problem: did you notice how many “I”s there are in that paragraph? The answer is: waaaaaaaaaaay too many.

I’ve noticed that recently I’ve been focusing too much attention on what my body needs or what my mind wants. It’s too much “me.” I’ve been asking to be unlocked a lot more often this month than I have ever before; and, although ML loves to hear me beg, I’m not so much begging but asking as if I expect a yes. Espcecially after pleasing ML in one way or another, I’m getting those “Okay, what about me?” feelings very frequently. This can’t go on.

I’ve been pleasing ML very well lately, but I’ve been doing it because I want to do it. I need to get back to pleasing her because she wants it. I need to get back to doing what she wants, not asking if I can do what I want. I need to get back to licking her pussy because it feels good for her, not because I think her pussy is delicious. And I need to get back to making her cum if and only if she demands it, not because I love to do it. I need to push my sexual needs and desires so far behind My Lady’s so that there is absolutely no question which is most important.

ML already has plans to get me moving in the right direction. After mentioning that I was off for the next two nights, she responded with this text:

Good. I’m in the mood for some ass worship. It’s been awhile since I just laid on my tummy and had you make love to my ass with your tongue.

She always knows just what I need. 🙂

Getting Into Character: What I’m Scared of as a Domme & Keyholder

Usually when I have some feelings to discuss with cagedmonkey, I do just that, I discuss it with him or use our “Communication book.” I do not normally come to the blog to make him aware of some feelings I’m having BUT I honestly think this is something not only I experience. I do believe these might be some common “wife as a Keyholder or Domme” fears or worries.

I’m sure you’ve read how cagedmonkey’s horny level is at an all time high. I’ve really been teasing him and mindfucking him rather intensely over the past month. This has kicked up his fantasy thoughts and, as he says, his fantasies are getting darker and more intense… It seems like the longer he is in chastity and denied with the combination of intense teasing the more slippery that “slippery slope” becomes and the idea of a lot kinkier stuff becomes more acceptable. I guess we’ll just see, over time, how slippery that slope can actually get.

The reason I bring all that up is because as cagedmonkey’s fantasies are getting more intense, I’m finding mine are too. I’m finding a deeper dominance inside me begging to come out. Why don’t I just let it out, you ask? Well, that’s easy, fear. I’m really scared of hubby’s reaction to something I might say. I feel this want and desire to “get into character” and when he begs say to him “No, subby hubby has not earned that” or whatever but I’m afraid of sounding too harsh. I’m afraid of him thinking I’m mean. I really want to be more direct and stern rather than playful with him sometimes but I’m scared. I could sit here and describe this over and over but I think you get it. When he begs for me to let him cum, I want to say “hell no! Go do the dishes” but instead, out of fear of being mean, I say something like, “ohhh sweetie, I don’t think so… maybe later.” Which is bull crap, that’s leading him on. I guess I want him to read this and understand I want to be more definite. I want to be much more dominant. When I ask him to do something and he tells me “can I do it in a few minutes?” I want to be able to say “I asked you to do it now, if you don’t you will get punished with the paddle before work, you choose…”

Anyway, who knows if this post will piss him off or help him to know I want to be more demanding, I want to add to my dominance, I want to require more of him. I feel like I want to make him lists of things to do, daily chores or tasks. I dunno if it’s just the timing and the built up crazy horny or what… but there it is, it’s out there now. We’ll see where it goes from here I suppose.

I love you my sweet darling boy with all of my heart and soul. I will be forever here protecting you and dominating you, whichever path we choose. Whether it be the lighter domination that we have had for 15 years or whether it grows into something deeper, something more.

The Joy of My Lady’s Orgasm

I am truly lucky to be blessed with a KH that not only seems to be horny all the time, but is also highly orgasmic. Whether I’m licking her pussy, fingering her, or playing with toys, I absolutely LOVE giving My Lady an orgasm. And I am very thankful for the multitude of opportunities I get to make it happen!

Take today for example. My Lady came upstairs to tuck me into bed this morning, and we began kissing and cuddling as we normally do. I could feel her excitement growing as my hands touched her all over; her body was pushing closer to mine and her breathing had gottern more rapid and deeper. Instinctively, I slid my hand between her legs and into her panties; they were absolutley flooded with her pussy juice. I rolled ML onto her back and began to rub her slippery pussy lips and her throbbing clit. It didn’t take long for her to start thrusting her hips up towards my hand. Soon I felt her body tense as she came, struggling to keep her moans quiet to avoid alerting the children downstairs of our naughty fun.

Later on, after the kids went to bed, ML and I shared a shower together. We were both heavily turned on once again, ML pressing her wet naked body against me, my cock straining against steel. I took the opportunity of being in the shower to give ML a nice, good squirting orgasm (always a favorite in the shower because of the lack of clean up needed). My Lady had also brought Adam into the shower with us, and after a good hard cum she wanted to be fucked. I used Adam to fuck her doggy style, holding the rubber dick where mine would be if it weren’t confined by the cage. I fucked her from behind nice and hard, my hips slapping against her ass as I drove deep into her. With no need to be quiet, ML moaned louder and louder until she squealed as she came all over the fake cock. My cock twitched in its cage in jealousy as I felt her pussy squirt some more pussy juice down our legs.

Then, just before it was time for me to leave for work, I had the chance to make My Lady cum again. This time, she was laying on the couch when she called me over as I was in the middle of getting dressed. She pulled me down and forced me to kiss her before demanding I finger her pussy until the same. I gladly obliged! I stood over her, looking into her eyes as I slid two fingers deep into her horny wet pussy. She moaned deeply as she maintained eye contact; it was so fucking intense! I fingered her deeply and firmly, just the way she likes it, and she was close to orgasm within minutes. Her body was writhing and tensing as her orgasm approached. She reached up, grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me down until our foreheads were touching. Then, My Lady looked directly in my eyes as her orgasm hit her. I could almost feel her sharing her intense pleasure with me, and I couldn’t help but moan in unison with her as her orgasm continued to flow through us both. She stood up on shaky legs and I stood up with a painfully constricted penis.

It really is a joy for me to be able to give My Lady such wonderful pleasures. One reason is because she looks God damn fucking sexy when she is cumming, but it’s not only that. My Lady and I share an incredible bond, a bond that is emotional and spiritual as well as physical in nature. ML understands that I will not be experiencing the pleasure of my own orgasm for quite some time, so she is gracious enough to share her pleasure with me through this bond. When she looks at me like she did on the couch, her eyes locked with mine as she reaches that height of pleasure that I cannot reach, I truly feel her giving me that energy. It is a special gift that I chersh every time, and it makes me want to give it right back to her over and over.

And over.

And over…. and over…..   🙂

Moment Savored

Today I had my last orgasm of 2014.

Well, actually, I had three of them, but that’s beside the point. The point is that I won’t have another one for the rest of the year.

Thankfully, I knew this going in, so I was able to get really nice mental pictures of all of them. My first cum of the day was in the morning – before I went to sleep, My Lady came upstairs to “tuck me in.” She cuffed my hands to the bed, climbed on top of me and rode my cock until I was just about ready to explode. Then the stroked me the rest of the way while sliding a finger in and out of my asshole.  It sure helped me get to sleep, I can tell you that!

My second and third orgasms were pretty much back to back. ML once again gave me some anal stimulation during my orgasm, only this time it was a little bit more than her finger; she used Pearl on me and she allowed me to stroke myself to orgasm. That was a REALLY nice one! It has been a while since I stroked my own cock to orgasm, so I don’t know if that made it so great, or if it was Pearl giving me a little extra sumthin’ sumthin’, but it was a really good cum. The third was right afterwards – ML continued to stroke me right after my orgasm, giving me a little bit of POT for good measure. She got me close and then allowed me to jerk myself off again… it was my birthday, after all, and is there a better present than allowing your chaste male to masturbate? I didn’t think so! I made myself cum a third time, and I was nearly drained by the end of it. I think this was ML’s goal, because she promptly had me lock up in the Jailbird before I headed to work.

And so begins my 6-month-plus period of orgasm denial (ML has said that I might get an orgasm for Christmas, or perhaps I’ll have to wait until 2015, she isn’t sure). This is going to be a difficult test for me. Not only will my denial be the longest I’ve ever gone through (by far!), My Lady and I have discussed trying some things during this chastity period that will also set new benchmarks. She wants to keep me in the Revenge  for longer than I’ve been before, locking my cock away where I can’t even see it let alone touch it. She is also interested in attempting a longer period of denying my any erections at all, locking me in the Jailbird 24/7 for a full month. With the discovery of ML’s new favorite toy, going that long will be easier than it has been in the past.

Well, easier on her at least. It doesn’t get any easier for me no matter what happens. And I know that ML will be taking every opportunity to make things even more difficult for me, teasing me whenever possible. I can already see the excitement in her eyes, and we’ve barely just begun. But I have to admit… I’m excited about this, too. I’m exicted to see just how far I can push myself, and how much farther ML can push me after I break down.  🙂

Basking in the Sun

I’m not sure where I read it, but I remember a quote that goes like this:

The sun shines brightest on the man who just got out of prison.

Whoever said this is seriously spot on, I swear.

Today being the first day after being allowed to cum in nearly three months, I’ve been trying to soak up all of the relaxation the moment can afford me. That’s not to say that I’ve been totally “relaxed.”  🙂  I’ve also been taking advantage of the “denial break” that I’ve been granted by My Lady. Notice I didn’t say “chastity break” there; I’ve been wearing the Jailbird to work the past two nights. But that doesn’t bother me a bit when I have the opportunity to have wonderful spontaneous sex with my wife.

This change of situation has made me realize a few things. First, it’s obvious that I’m still horny for My Lady. The frantic edge of the want has been filed down, but the desire didn’t (and most likely will never) go away. I have noticed that my cock is a little bit slower at “standing to attention,” but I believe that’s a result of having so many orgasms after a period of having so few (a.k.a. none). If you haven’t run a mile in a year, you’ll probably start having a tough time after a few laps around the block. My cock just has to get its wind back, that’s all.  🙂

I have also noticed that, although I do like cumming in ML’s mouth twice a day (brag), I also enjoy how it feels when my horniness has hit a level so high it can only be reached through a lengthy denial. The conflicting feelings of being totally energized yet drained at the same time, the highs from pleasing ML and the lows of being denied my own pleasure… it’s one major mind trip. Nothing else can recreate it.

This experience has also allowed me to grow closer to My Lady, not only on a physical level, but on an emotional and spritiual level as well. The mutual orgasm we had as we made love last night was absolutely incredible. It was a wonderful moment for both of us to share. Having that moment with each other after waiting for so long accentuated just how powerful it was for both of us. It also showed us both that, no matter the length of denial My Lasy should choose, that connection of ours is so strong that it will never fade.