Even a Domme Requires Aftercare

Last night cagedmonkey and I had a little alone, adult time together. I would get into describing it but I’ll leave that to him since it focuses on me dominating him for the most part. It’s probably better that you experience that part from the receiver.

As for me, while I enjoyed last night’s acute intensity very much, I’m experiencing what I would consider one of my most severe episodes of Domme Drop (regarding length). I’ve talked about this before in previous posts and even described it here. It really is no fun. I actually have been doing very well with things and haven’t had too many episodes of drop recently and when I anticipated one I would use my anxiety meds (as decided with the help of a doctor) to combat the effects just prior to them happening. Also, since you know me and I think communication is huge, hubby and I talk about it and he helps greatly during a drop.

I really had no thoughts, with the very short time that we got to spend together, that I would even have any drop. I found out very quickly after cagedmonkey went to work that the drop, no matter how much time is spent during an intense scene, can and will happen.

The part that makes a drop hard for me is the roller coaster feeling. I’ll be fine one minute and the next my eyes well up with tears or I’m feeling anxious. I realized a lot of the feelings last night were questions, worries if you will, about cagedmonkey’s experience. I think the time drop hits me the most is when we have an intense scene and right after that hubby has to go to work. Then he gets home at 7am and it’s breakfast time for the kids and he’s gotta get to bed. There is no time to talk about the events that took place, no time to hear that he liked or disliked something, no “thank you ma’am” for dominating me, for spanking my ass or any of that. We just don’t get that time together to give me the feedback I apparently desperately need.

That’s what it is, I realized, during the scene I’m not getting much feedback because he is enduring what I’m dishing out (spanking, assplay, teasing, breath play etc) and it’s what I need afterwards. I need to know how he feels about what happened. I need to know that it was ok, that he is ok and they I don’t need to feel guilty. When it’s a rush after to get him off to work and we don’t even discuss the scene – like it didn’t happen – I begin to worry. Did he like it? Did it feel good? Was it hot for him? Did he like feeling me take what I wanted from him? Did he like me using his body to do as I please? The questions race through my head causing the ripples of anxiety. The anxiety causes my emotional down. The feelings of sadness, worry and probably even some shame need to be squashed out by the communication and feedback after a scene. It’s like I have said before even a Domme can need “aftercare.”

I wonder, do other Dommes or Tops who experience drop feel that the feedback helps them?

“I Need This Damn Cage Off My Cock!”

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It’s been about a week straight that I’ve spent locked in the Revenge now. Yes that means 24/7, one whole week of not even being able to see, let alone touch my cock. It’s starting to drive me a little mad, to the point of I have to say “about a week” because I can’t remember the exact day this started because it feels like such a long fucking time.

Making things worse is the timing of ML’s cycle denying me of my other avenue of release of sexual tension – pleasing My Lady’s horny pussy. Oh, don’t get me wrong, she’s had her share of orgasms. She has managed to get along just fine without me touching her pussy, which kinda rubs it in my face even more. It makes me wish I could cum without touching myself, because I really fucking need to right now.

Yesterday, ML spent the whole day incredibly turned on. We were doing what we call an “extra control” day, in which I need to ask her permission for a lot more things than normal. She also has a tendency to either say no or delay giving me what I want for just a little bit, just because she can (hot as fuck). For example, she gave me a stern look when I forgot to ask her if I could play a game on my cell phone, instructing me to do the dishes instead before I was allowed to play. Holding this type of control over me keeps her horny brewing all day long, and she unleashed it on me after the kids went to bed.

The extra control day was the result of me disclosing a couple of switch fantasies I’ve been having lately (that’s a whole other post, altogether). They were some pretty intense thoughts, and ML felt that she needed to keep her “naughty boy and his naughty thoughts” in line.

(Note: I fucking absolutely LOVE My Lady, because she made sure to let me know out-of-role beforehand that I she wasn’t really upset, and she was using the term “naughty” in a playful way. She loves hearing my fantasies, and actually requires that I share them with her. She also knew that I needed to know this in order to avoid a debilitating shame spiral. She really is the fucking best thing ever, I swear!)

After the entire day of controlling me exactly the way she wanted to, she decided she needed to complete my lesson and give her naughty boy a good spanking. She ordered me to lay bare assed over her knee and began spanking me pretty hard. The sting of the smacks built up until I was squirming on her lap after each sway. She continued spanking my ass as she worked the butt plug in and out of my ass at the same time (yes, that too… I am required to ask permission to use the bathroom during extra control days). I was moaning and writhing on the couch as the pain of being spanked mixed with the sensation of being repeatedly penetrated by the plug.

My Lady continued to spank my ass, not even saying a word. Soon, it really began to hurt and I needed her to stop. I asked…. begged her to stop, but she continued. Then I realized what I needed to do.

I apologized. I said I was sorry for being a naughty boy. These were the magic words My Lady was waiting for; she began telling me how naughty I was for fantasizing about her in the ways I did. She spanked me hard as she told me to admit that I’m a dirty little boy with a dirty little mind, and I said so without any hesitation.

Finally, the spankings stopped. She didn’t let me off her lap for just a few more moments, and it occurred to me that she was taking pictures of my nicely reddened ass for her enjoyment later.

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She certainly did enjoy them later, as she had three more orgasms as she laid back on the couch and I rubbed her pussy and kissed her, the last of which ended up being a HUGE one triggered by me shoving my finger into her pussy with perfect timing. She came hard, her entire body tensing up as she looked directly into my eyes. Her pleasure was so intense, I could feel it taking her over and flowing right from her eyes into mine. It was an incredible feeling!

We both woke up incredibly horny this morning, which prompted the title of this post being my first thought of the day. I may be getting my wish later today, as I need a shave badly… but ML has told me that I still won’t be able to see or touch my cock until our anniversary. Is she planning a “no look, no touch” grooming session?

More Anal!? Pegging His Ass and a Spanking

The kids day camp is over, so yesterday was the last time we had for play time. I won’t bore you with a post full of all the same stuff from the past few days. So instead I’ll just pick a couple parts I thought might be interesting.

Our morning started out with him unlocking and then some snuggling and a little vanilla love making. At one point while we laid there in each other’s arms I thought I’d give him something to ponder. I simply and quietly said, “just so you know, I will be restraining you to the bed, putting on the RodeoH and making love to you.” It quickly turned kinky when I rolled him over and got on top of him. Such a powerful position, especially when I reach to the top of the bed and grab the restraints. As I kissed him I cuffed him to the underbed restraints. I stayed up there, straddling his waist, and running my hands all over his beautiful chest. Lightly trailing my fingernails up his sides, across his shoulders and down over his nipples.

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I just love pinching, twisting, pulling and rubbing his nipples, it really gets him squirming. I moved myself down to straddle his thighs (which actually restrains him further) and I took his hard cock in my hand, right in front of my warm wet pussy and stroked him and edged him over and over. He was trying so hard to wriggle under me as I teased his cock and got him so close to cumming.

I left him there teased, aching and tied up as I went to get the RodeoH and got “pearl” situated in the o-ring. I stood next to him, making him watch as I lubed up, talking to him, telling him how he loves when I take him and make him mine. I got in between his legs and pushed them up toward his head, I swear his knees were touching his shoulders hehe. I gently slid into him, leaning over top of him, my big breasts laying on his chest. I kissed him deep ass I slid in his ass deeper, i love when he moans in my mouth. The lovey, sweet, gentle pegging was nice but I was getting incredibly wet and turned on. Being in that powerful position, taking him like that made my aggressive side come out. I wanted to fuck him and use him like a little slut. 🙂

I was having issues getting good positioning how I was, so I sat back on my ass still penetrating him, I laid back on my back, grabbed his thighs and pulled him right up to me. We were both laying on our backs and I pulled him into my harness hard and fast, over and over, pegging him. He was moaning so loud and grunting as I yanked his body back and forth, violating him.
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It was such a fantastic position that I found and I look forward to using it again. I don’t peg him often but once in awhile when I’m feeling extra dominant and wanting him in a very submissive spot, I will.

Of course, only a naughty, dirty boy would want to or like getting fucked in the ass by his Lady so he had to be taught a lesson. 🙂 I bent him over the side of the bed, got my butterfly paddle from the bedside table and gave him a hell of a spanking. I made him tell me what a dirty, naughty, slutty boy he was for wanting me to fuck his ass. I made him tell me what an ass slut I made him by violating his tight asshole while he was tied down. Our playtime ended with a lovely red, stinging, quivering, used ass.
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I very much enjoyed our week together without the kids. We were really able to let loose. 🙂

My ideas for going forward are still keeping him teased, tormented and orgasm denied until January, when we renew vows. This Monday I believe I will have him in 24/7 lockdown until the end of September. Once we get the Revenge back from getting some adjustments we will do a No Look, No Touch for a bit this fall when the weather is cooler.

Lots of fun to come through the end of the year and I look forward to sharing plenty of it with you all. 🙂

Setting the Table (or “The Night When My Lady Tied Me Down, Pegged Me, and Sent Me Off To Work)

The bondage rope is quickly becoming one of My Lady’s favorite toys. Last night before I left for work, she chose to give me something to remember her all night long with. And it was VERY effective!

ML started off by using the rope to tie me down to the coffee table in our living room; she cuffed my wrists together, and then used the rope to attach the cuffs to my thighs, running the rope around my cock cage for good measure. Now, if I tried to move my hands upwards the rope would tug on my cage and pull on my balls. ML let out a tiny giggle as I tested her ropework for her; she was obviously enjoying herself already, and we were only at the beginning.

Once I was secured to the table, My Lady grabbed her prized butterfly paddle and began to spank my ass. As she whacked my ass harder and harder with each swat, I began to whimper after each hit. My reactions began to fuel her desire, and she spanked me harder and faster until it seriously started to sting. She sat across my back to hold me down and paddled me more. I could feel my ass starting to turn red as each blow stung my ass cheeks. I could tell by ML’s breathing that she was getting very turned on, and when she gets very turned on she starts to lose herself in the moment. When this happens, there’s no telling what’s in store for me next!

What was in store for me, apparently, was a very rough pegging!

My Lady first started working Pearl into my ass. Pearl is a small-to-average size dildo, so it wasn’t too terrible. ML began fucking my ass with it fast and forcefully; I could feel it rapidly filling me up and exiting me, only to fill me up once again. I began to moan uncontrollably; ML’s response to this was to simply fuck my ass even harder. After a few minutes of this, she removed Pearl from my ass and reached for something much, much bigger.

The dildo she chose next was the large bronze one she has used on me before. This thing just looks painful – it’s longer than I am, and the head is extremely thick at the base. The shaft thins out to give a little bit of relief, however it is ribbed which rubs against my asshole over and over as it thrusts into me. She pressed the head of the dildo against my asshole. I wasn’t sure if it was going to go in at first! I felt my asshole trying to stretch around the bulbous head, and it didn’t seem to quite be getting there. No need to worry, though… ML shoved it in hard, forcing my ass to open up and accept the intruder. I grunted loudly as she shoved it in farther. God, it hurt SO FUCKING BAD. It felt like the dildo was pulling apart my insides.

My Lady began to fuck my ass with the huge dildo, roughly and without mercy. It didn’t take long for me to start sobbing and whimpering. I couldn’t take it anymore; I begged her to stop. I pleaded. And how did My Lady respond to my pleas? She leaned over and cupped her hand over my mouth and told me to be quite while she fucked my ass like a good little slut so I didn’t wake the kids (omgggggggg).

It was at that moment I started to break down. I didn’t just want her to stop. I needed her to stop. My Lady had never done anything this intense with me while the kids were in the house. I couldn’t stay quiet. I physically could not. Yet My Lady was forcing me to. I needed to scream. I needed to cry out in tortured agony. But I couldn’t I wasn’t allowed. So instead, I simply broke down and began to cry into her hand.

My Lady did it. She broke me. But did she stop? Oh no. She wasn’t finished with me yet.

ML pushed the dildo further into my ass; instead of screaming in pain I simply flopped down on the table like a rag doll. She pushed in as far as she could, thrusting deeper into me as I let out what would be best described as a long deep groan. I’ve never made that sound before. Then again, I’d never had a huge dildo pushing so far into my asshole I could feel it all the way up to my hips inside. My Lady held in in place deep inside me. My whole body shuddered as I struggled to keep my screams in my chest. I felt precum pouring out of my cock as I was harshly milked, I honestly didn’t care. All I cared about was surviving being impaled by the bronze monster My Lady was assaulting me with.

Just as I was contemplating whether I should safeword or not, My Lady pulled the dildo out of my ass. She untied me from the table, but I couldn’t get up. I laid on the table, as limp as a ragdoll. When I was able to lift my head, I saw ML motioning me to lay on the floor, face up. I slowly moved over to where she wanted me. She stood over me and removed her soaked-through panties. Facing my feet, she squatted over my face and shoved her dripping wet pussy into my face. For the next ten minutes, My Lady alternated between rubbing her pussy all over my face and pushing her asshole down onto my tongue. I fucked her ass with my tongue as a good sub should, and I sucked on her clit when she moved it within my reach. After she rode my face to two orgasms, she laid back on the couch and waved me over again. “You have a mess to clean up,” My Lady said. I crawled over and licked her pussy to a massive orgasm that seemed to last about 5 minutes. Even after all of the pain I was put through, I smiled proudly at my ability to make My Lady cum so hard with my mouth.

After we took time for our aftercare (always important after a scene like this!!!), My Lady sent me off to work with a sore throbbing asshole. And the weird thing is that I was horny all fucking night long. I still am, about 12 hours after everything happened. I think this the worst horny I’ve ever felt!

Our Mystery Date

Last night cagedmonkey took me out to a nice bar & grill not too far from the house. When we were younger we use to go out every so often (usually when visiting my friends and family out of state) and do karaoke. I’ve recently said how we need to get back out doing those things we used to love doing. So cagedmonkey looked up a bar that had karaoke and decided we were going. We had such a fun night eating appetizers and having a few drinks and just talking. We spent a good time talking about goals and our thoughts and feelings about how our relationship is going. We also talked about the chastity and how we each feel it’s going and If anything needed adjusting. It really was a good night. We didn’t stay out too late since our babysitter had school in the morning! 🙂

During our date we talked a bit about how I’d like to learn some rope skills to get into tying him up more. So once we got home we did a little research and I actually learned how to make rope cuffs. I practiced on him. What I really want (we need lots more rope) is to be able to tie him to a chair. 🙂

After a little practicing with the rope we were going to watch a little tv but I got my paddle instead. I haven’t given cagedmonkey a good spanking in awhile so I had him bend over the couch. I spanked his ass while I played with his caged cock. I ran my fingernails on his shaft through the cage bars. I massaged and fondled his balls and loved hearing him moan. I even grasped around the base of his cock just behind his ring and stroked the base of his cock. We didn’t get too much more into anything than that but we had a fantastic night as a whole. 🙂