Comforted by Control

I was a little disappointed with how our lost weekend went. I was really looking forward to having every aspect of my life controlled by ML (at least, what was possible, due to child interruptions). Work stuff doesn’t usually affect me at home, as I’m usually good with “leaving it at the office,” but this ended up being a particularly bad day.

One thing I will say is that the bits of control that we were able to do really comforted me and calmed me down. It wasn’t so much a sexual thing because my horny had been ruined by “dude’s bleeding to death” as ML put it. I can’t even really describe it all that well. Wearing the collar, serving My Lady, and following her instructions… it all just made me feel at peace.

I think it’s because that’s who I really am at heart. I really was made to be ML’s subby hubby, and nothing makes me feel better than filling that role. When I’m submitting to her, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. And although it might not fix everything about a bad day, it will always be that bright spot in my life that I can turn to.

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Don’t Want to Waste the Precious Time We Have Together

Tonight the kids will be going back to their Friday night activity. It’s a social skills group for kids with Autism (and their siblings) that usually happens once or twice a month. That means hubby and I get about one and a half hours of uninterrupted Date Night. These date nights can range anywhere from a nice night out at a restaurant for dinner to a quick movie at home together and sometimes, like tonight, it can be an intense D/s or tease session depending on how we are feeling. Actually depending on how I’m feeling since, sexually, I control it all. 🙂

I can honestly say I don’t have specific plans for tonight but when hubby asked if he should plan to make dinner I told him no. I said I was in desperate need to dominate him and I needed an intense D/s session. I told him with the very limited amount of time we have I did not want to waste it eating dinner. LoL

I’m already in a very powerful mood this morning. He got home from work and I went in to tuck him into bed. That turned into a half an hour of pretty intense teasing and me getting very aggressive with him. At first I laid with him and was trailing my fingers up and down his naked body. Running them all around his cage but ignoring the locked cock within. I gently dragged my fingers along his stomach and chest, across his nipples and up over his shoulders. I traced all the gorgeous lines of his body and loved hearing him gasp and quietly moan as he got more and more aroused. I could feel the skin get tighter as he swelled in his cage.

I was getting more and more turned on, I could feel my pussy getting wetter and warmer, quivering in my panties. As I was teasing and tickling cagedmonkey, I felt this wonderful surge., a powerful, aggressive feeling came over me. I pinched and pulled his nipples just to hear him moan. I crave hearing his reaction to my touch. I made him moan into my ear, made him whimper and I could feel his breath. It made me extremely horny and I could feel my need to orgasm, simply from his reactions to my touch. It is nothing short of amazing that I feel this with him.

I continued teasing, tickling, pinching and pulling, filling my desire for his reaction. I kept doing it until I pushed myself to the edge of orgasm. Right at the peak I climbed on top of him and rubbed my panty covered pussy on his cock straining in his Jail Bird. I pushed myself over as I humped his body through my orgasm. Fuck, it was fantastic to feel those powerful, “I’ll use you and take what I want from you” feelings again.

As I mentioned, I’m not sure what tonight will bring but I have thought about wearing my new strap on harness. I’ve thought about bending him over and forcing him to be mine. But… who knows, we’ll just have to see what happens tonight! I do know that today, all day, is going to be one hell of a prolonged tease session. I have no plans of letting him get uninterrupted sleep today, he’ll just have to deal with it. 🙂

He Said, She Said/Mail Chastity: Hurts So Good?

We recently received the following comment on one of ML’s posts, specifically her post on breath control. Here is the comment from Dedicatedtoher:

Please explain to me how you can get sexual pleasure from hurting someone you love/ Where is the pleasure , the joy in hurting him? Even if he is a masochist, you have the ability to step back and say: “This I cannot do. I get no pleasure from hurting you” Your sexual thrill from inflicting pain on your husband is something I find difficult to understand. I am happy sadism does not work for my wife and I

Both of us have things we would like to say in response to this. So here is your “He Said, She Said” installment of “Mail Chastity” (or vice versa, whichever tickles your fancy).

Lady M: Thank you so much for your comment and question.  I would like to first point out that I do NOT like to hurt my husband nor do I get pleasure from it. I do love his reaction to some slight pain like pinching nipples, nails on his back or balls or even a spanking. I do believe those are all pretty common ways people create a pain sensation to get a reaction from their partner. As I said, I do not enjoy actually hurting him whatsoever. Since it is the Breath Play post in particular that you are referring to, I want to say that at no time during our play like this do I hurt or intentionally cause him pain. If that were to happen, with a misplaced thumb or something, I stop immediately and adjust. I’m actually terrified of accidentally hurting him and often cut play short sometimes. Breath play is not about pain and has everything to do with the control of his consciousness. That I do love, I love the control I have over him. I love seeing his glossed over eyes as he is slipping off into his dreamy state. That does give me a sexual charge and my crotch is instantly sopping wet and drippy. It really is not painful to experience this but rather relaxing and calm I would imagine.

I hope this helps explain it a bit and as I always say, not everyone will ever enjoy the same things when it comes to most things in life. Although… maybe bacon… everyone, except Cagemonkey, likes bacon! 🙂

Cagedmonkey: First, let me say thank you for the comment. It’s a great question, but I’d like to thank you for being so respectful. Although you may not understand or agree with the things we do, I appreciate your mature attitude towards addressing it. 🙂

I’ll start by saying that there is a big difference between “pain” and “hurt.” When ML pinches my nipples just a teeny bit too hard, that’s pain. When she leans the wrong way and kneels on my ankle or whatever, that hurts. I don’t get any sexual thrill from being hurt. Pain, yes, I find exciting. But there have been instances in the past where ML has accidentally hurt me, and we’ve stopped immediately and addressed the situation (and most likely laughed it off afterwards).

The pain itself isn’t a turn on. What turns me on is the control that is involved. ML can make me feel whatever she wants me to feel; whether that be pleasure, pain, or anywhere in the middle. I love that she can cause these sensations, and I love that I cannot fight them.

With all of that said, the asphyxiation/choking/breath play isn’t as painful as you may think it is. Again, it’s about control: My Lady controls my air supply, and along with that my ability to stay conscious. It’s actually somewhat peaceful, slipping away slowly like that. The worst thing I’d say I experience is fear as I get closer to blacking out, but I trust ML absolutely and completely.

I hope this helps shed some light on why we find this type of play erotic and exciting. It’s definitely not for everyone, but no kink really is. What works for us may not work for you. But what’s important is that it works for us. 🙂

This Lady has a Sadistic Side – Erotic Asphyxiation and Breath Control

Let me start this post with a Disclaimer of sorts – We are not a professionals, everything we do I research well and use trial and error and explore carefully. Lady & her lovely CagedMonkey take no responsibility for people being stupid and trying something without learning the dangers. FYI: Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath control can be dangerous. Other than that, enjoy! 🙂

I was talking to a guy the other day who is interested in trying out Breath play – aka Erotic Asphyxiation. So we’re just talking about choking someone, right? No, not really, it’s actually a bit more than that. Just incase there are some kinky folks reading this that are not quite sure what this is all about, let me first, explain what it is.

Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath Control is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. It is said that, the carotid arteries (on either side of the neck) carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the brain. When these are compressed, as in strangulation, the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain can increase feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten sexual sensations. It’s also stated that, when the brain is deprived of oxygen, it induces a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state. Combined with orgasm, the rush is said to be no less powerful than cocaine, and highly addictive.

Sounds intense, right? It really is… the part this doesnt describe is how it feels for the person actually causing the restriction of oxygen. In my relationship, I’m the dominant one and I’m the one who likes this and wants to do this. I introduced it to hubby. I restrict oxygen to his brain in a few different ways. I use my big breasts or my stomach to smother him and block his nose and mouth from inhaling. I use my pussy or my ass as well, during facesitting to cut off and control his breathing. Lastly, I choke him or more simply put use both hands at the sides of his neck to push in at his coratids to restrict the blood flow. I do it this way so I do not crush his windpipe.

So in my conversation with this Dom gentleman we got to talking about what he finds hot!
He said, “I’m interested in the choking part. Looking at her face with my hands around her neck and my cock pounding her pussy. To me that very exciting.”

God that sounds hot, I’ve choked hubby and that is so sexy… seeing that fear in his eyes while my hands clenched his throat. When I can see his face it’s awesome, the fear, the glistening of his eyes, the helplessness. I’ve done this once while pegging my hubby “missionary” too, it is such a huge rush and incredibly hot.

With choking… I stay away from the windpipe altogether, instead I push on his coratid arteries on the side of his neck with the side of my hands. It’s so hard to explain, but I wrap my fingers around the side and my thumbs are across his trachea. I push my fingers toward each other, into his neck to push on the arteries and block the flow of blood. I do not push in with my thumbs because that is painful and potentially deadly… you want to cut oxygen not cause actual pain or injury.

When we started this type of play it was trial and error. Once I realized what it did to me, which I’ll explain in a minute, I started researching. Of course, you know this Lady, always researching everything lol. At first I wasnt sure what would cause the wrong kind of pain, where to push etc and cagedmonkey and I set up a little signal depending on what I was doing. He would signal by tapping my butt with a certain rhythm if I was facesitting, a thumbs up giving me the ok to go further or thumbs down to stop if I was choking him.

The first time it happened it didn’t last long, the feelings scared the shit out of me and even caused a huge Domme Drop episode. We talked a lot and I did my research after that we slowly played and built up the length of time I would restrict him. Each time we played I got this huge rush and an extremely drippy wet pussy. The feelings of power are almost overwhelming and I had to take it slow. You can actually SEE the eyes lose focus and glisten when they get right on the edge of consciousness. I can feel a power come over me like a wave. I practically start to chuckle and lose my breath. I get caught up in my own feelings that sometimes I cant let go and instincely squeeze harder. I do try to catch myself before that happens. Cagedmonkey has described it to me as him seeing me kinda getting foggy to him. I can see it happen in his eyes and the thrill is so amazing! I have to be careful because I’m sure bad things could happen if I was to get too lost and forget his life is in my hands. 🙂

This Dom gentleman also asked, “Would fucking her while I sat in a chair and her straddling me with my hand over her mouth and pinching her nose work??”

I think this is something you could manage, but it be better if her back were against something, unless you are wanting her to pull away. When I play with hubby where I am restricting his actual air flow he will start to jerk and instinctively pull away and try gasping. Sometimes he will begin to thrash around and I have to hold my hubby down. So, in my opinion, to really have a good go at this you would want the receiver under you or pinned against something like the back of the couch. Plus, I mean look at the dynamic, how powerful it is to be on top of someone, holding them down, controlling their consciousness.

Again, I want to warn that this is a very delicate thing and you should use extreme caution. Please do not try these things unless you have done some research. Be safe and Enjoy! 🙂

 

The Chaste Sub Mindset

I must admit, I haven’t been the best sub that I can be lately.

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been disobedient or resistant. I haven’t been cranky or irritable. I haven’t whined or begged… too much (My Lady loves a little bit of desperation, after all!). I’ve been very giving with both my time and energy lately, doing whatever I can to please My Lady. The problem isn’t what I am doing or not doing. The problem is the reasons and motivations behind my actions.

My motivation for pleasing ML is pretty much expected at this point in my denial – I’m goddamn horny as fuck with a heaping side of blue balls. After a solid month of being teased nearly nonstop by the sexiest woman I’ve even known and not being allowed to cum, I guess I can’t be blamed much for that. But as much as ML loves the desperate state of aching horniness that I’m currently in, it sometimes works against my subby mindset. I’ll explain.

I’ve written before about how much I love to lick My Lady’s pussy. I love how she tastes, I love how her body reacts when I give her sweet kisses on her clit. I love it when she moans when I shove my tongue as far into her pussy as I possibly can. I love how her pussy walls squeeze my tongue when I wiggle it around inside her. I love how her body shudders when I swirl my tongue around her clit. And it feels great when I give her a nice, loud, intense orgasm with just my mouth.

And now here’s the problem: did you notice how many “I”s there are in that paragraph? The answer is: waaaaaaaaaaay too many.

I’ve noticed that recently I’ve been focusing too much attention on what my body needs or what my mind wants. It’s too much “me.” I’ve been asking to be unlocked a lot more often this month than I have ever before; and, although ML loves to hear me beg, I’m not so much begging but asking as if I expect a yes. Espcecially after pleasing ML in one way or another, I’m getting those “Okay, what about me?” feelings very frequently. This can’t go on.

I’ve been pleasing ML very well lately, but I’ve been doing it because I want to do it. I need to get back to pleasing her because she wants it. I need to get back to doing what she wants, not asking if I can do what I want. I need to get back to licking her pussy because it feels good for her, not because I think her pussy is delicious. And I need to get back to making her cum if and only if she demands it, not because I love to do it. I need to push my sexual needs and desires so far behind My Lady’s so that there is absolutely no question which is most important.

ML already has plans to get me moving in the right direction. After mentioning that I was off for the next two nights, she responded with this text:

Good. I’m in the mood for some ass worship. It’s been awhile since I just laid on my tummy and had you make love to my ass with your tongue.

She always knows just what I need. 🙂

Dick On Demand

Last night, I performed one of my most favorite duties for My Lady – I acted as her “on demand” pleasure tool. It is so much fun when she does this, because she shows just how much in control she is of my sexuality when she uses it whenever she wants to as much as she wants to.

ML unlocked me earlier in the day, so I had a feeling she was going to want to play with her toy and tease my cock at some point during the night. We sat with each other watching TV after the kids went to bed, and she turns to me and says, ‘Take your cock out now and stroke it.” Yes ma’am! I immediately began masturbating for My Lady, and I was soon wiggling around on the couch and moaning as it started to feel really good. I had to slow down quite a few times in order not to cum, but I was under orders to not stop unless ML said I could. She forced me to string myself along, moaning and commenting on how wet she was getting as I continued to stroke.

She finally allowed me to stop, telling me to tuck my cock back into my underwear. I was to keep on my toes, though, as she quickly explained, “When I get up, I want your glasses off and your cock out, so I can use either one to get off when I want to.”

Oh my fucking God, I almost came in my pants right there.

How hot is that? She’s warning me that she’s so horny that she is going to be using me more during the night, and I better get myself ready for her. It would be my responsibility to please her whevenever and however she wants. And the sense of foreboding was amazing… she said when, not if.

Being the good boy that I am, I followed My Lady’s instructions. I made sure I was always aware of how she was sitting, preparing for her to stand up and make her way over. This kept me turned on and hard for the entire night, waiting for when it would happen. And then there she was, rising to her feet and moving quickly towards me. I just barely had enough time to remove my glasses before she climbed up on the couch and shoved her wet pussy right into my face. She smeared her pussy juices all over my face, making me a sloppy wet mess. Then she grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into her hard; I felt her pussy spasm around my tongue as she came quickly. She repeated this another 3 times, and also sat down on my cock once… facing the TV, no less, truly making me feel like an object to her.

After the last time she finished fucking my face with her pussy, she sat back down and spread her legs wide. I was mesmerized by her beautiful pussy, I couldn’t take my eyes off it. ML pulled me out of my haze by saying, “Bring that cock over here now and fuck me with it.”

Damn, her choice of words was driving me nuts. Bring that cock over here and fuck me with it. I really was just a plaything to her. I obeyed her immediately, kneeling at the foot of the couch and sliding my cock into her pussy as she slouched slightly. It felt fucking amazing to be in her pussy again, but the position made it more difficult for me to cum. In the past, it might have been almost impossible to achieve orgasm the way I was kneeling; after a full week of being teased and denied, all it did was give me the ability to hold back juuuuuuust enough.

ML began rubbing her clit as I slowly thrusted into her, being careful not to get too carried away and lose it. As she rubbed faster, I could feel her pussy squeezing my cock. She looked into my eyes as her orgasm hit her, and her pussy nearly squeezed the cum right out of me. I struggled to keep myself from cumming as her pussy almost crushed my shaft with its spasms of pleasure. ML began to come down from her orgasm, but there she was rubbing her clit again. She wasn’t done with me yet. It was as if she was in a frenzy; cumming on my cock once wasn’t enough. I used all of my effort to hold back. Then I felt her pussy pulsing again; she cried out loud as she came on my cock once again. Her hips bucked towards mine; I pushed further inside her, giving her my full length, and her body shook all over as her orgasm brought her to even bigger heights. Somehow, I was able to get through all of this amazing sexiness – ML’s legs spread, needing to be fucked, demanding to be fucked, her body shaking from her orgasm, moaning loudly, and gawd her fucking pussy felt soooooooo fucking good I swear – without cumming myself.

Finished pleasing herself with her toy, ML motioned for me to get up and move to the other couch. She then told me that I better get soft in a hurry, because I would have to be back in the cage before I left for work. Not more than ten minutes after My Lady’s warm tight pussy was wrapped around the shaft of my cock was it locked back in the Jailbird once again. And tonight, at work, I’m as horny as I’ve been in quite a while. My cock is still super sensitive; each movement I make causes my cock to wiggle the slightest bit against the cage, reminding me that the unyielding steel is no substitute for the soft wetness of ML’s pussy.

However, I also sit here feeling very satisfied. Not satisfied in the orgasmic sense, that privilige is My Lady’s alone until the chooses otherwise. No, I am satisfied in the way I was able to perform for My Lady. I truly loved being her dick on demand tonight, and I can’t wait until I get the chance again to do so!