I just wrote about the type of dominant I am. I know I’m pretty good at what I do but, I’m human and I’m not perfect. I try my best to keep all of the boys happy, teased, horny and frustrated as well as focused on goals, overcoming life’s obstacles and bettering themselves. 🙂 I love when they take the opportunity to let me know in words or even gifts that they appreciate me and love what I do for them.
I just took this quiz called “What type of Mistress are you?” First of all I’m not a mistress at all. I am also not a Goddess, Princess or whatever other titles people may go by. I’m a dominant woman and I think there is a difference there. Before I go on with my post here are my results:
Congratulations, you are a very Sensual & Sexual Mistress.
You will use your submissive for your own enjoyment. If your submissive enjoys himself, that is OK, but you will use his body for your own pleasure. You pleasure comes first. You are not out to cause undue pain in your submissive but you realize that some is required for him to stay in line.
You enjoy being in control and you enjoy the pleasure you can take from your submissive. His body is for your use first and foremost.You have a healthy attituded toward sex. You enjoy men, but when you are in control, you will enjoy yourself first and then let him enjoy himself. You would not be a Mistress if your submissive did not also enjoy it. You are a Mistress because both of you enjoy the feelings of letting go and exploring each other.
So, let me start off by telling you I changed the wording in there to read “submissive” because I, in no way, have a slave for a subby hubby, which it suggested. With that said, most of that is pretty accurate about yours truly. I very much use my hubby to satisfy me first and then maybe, just maybe, he gets some, though that’s few and far between these days. I would say I actually do enjoy inflicting some pain because of the reaction it causes. I would also strongly argue that I would, in fact, be a “mistress” or Dominant woman because that’s just who I am. I may not be to the extent that I am if he didn’t enjoy it but that’s why we’re together. We are each other’s perfect compliment.
If you read the earlier posts here you’ll know that way back 15 years ago we had a Tease & Denial Yahoo group. Our little group had over 600 members and each and every one of them called me Ms. Aggressive. Even back then I knew I was not a mistress. Looking back I realize, 15yrs so, I was a very involved and very attentive Dom. We had chats, emails, tasks, pics, video and even audio. Not nearly as easy as we do now with smartphones and cameras at the touch of a finger, but we had it. I will say, I was much younger and inexperienced and didn’t have loads of information available in an instant like we do now. Being so young and naive cagedmonkey and I didn’t have a sense of priority or realize a contract between us may have been a good thing. As I mentioned I was very attentive and involved which meant a lot of time was consumed teasing other men and denying them when in reality the focus should have been on my monkey boy. Eventually we’d gotten married, moved, started fertility treatments to have kids and away went the Yahoo group.
What is my point in all that? I guess my point is that I’ve always been a very involved, attentive and playful Dom. I’m still that way now with my hubby and any other subby boys I may take on. I get to know them deep down, I create personalized goals and tasks for them, I keep track of them individually and build a meaningful relationship with them. It is not the same relationship I have with my husband but it definitely has depth and meaning, support and caring, rewards and punishments similar to my marriage. I do genuinely begin to care for them and what goes on in their lives.
There are some Doms or mistresses that require money for such services – probably a lot for something similar to the attention I give – but that isn’t what I do. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with it, by any means, it’s just not what I do. I like to be the dominant, attentive, involved, cocktease that I am for them. If I receive something for it, gift cards or homemade gifts or anything, I want it to be because I’m awesome at what I do. I want it to be because they appreciate me and not because I require it. I want them to want to show me they care about me, appreciate me and are devoted to me. It pleases me ever so much.
I think it’s important that a submissive know what they need as a submissive. It’s important that a Dom know what they need. I always say how communication it’s important because, IT IS! If you are looking for a generic D/s or M/s relationship where you get the same tasks and goals as any other person who buys them, awesome, that’s easy. If you are looking for an actual relationship, you can’t just sign into Fetlife and meet someone who calls themselves a mistress and expect them to know how to handle you.
The few boys I currently dominate, besides my number one subby hubby, I’ve gotten to know. A couple are in chastity and I hold their keys, those boys are also long distance subs so our interaction is limited to online, email, text messages, etc. All of my boys are required to follow my rules, complete my tasks and accept and complete my punishments. I get to know my boys and I take the time to make their experience very personal. I give them time with me, I support them and encourage them to become better men for their wives or partners or future ones. I strive to keep them healthy and functioning at their best in all they do. I will say that I have some very good subs and, most of the time, they keep me very pleased. I do hope that I do the same for them. I’m actually, publicly going to require that my boys take a minute to reply to this post and write a “review” or testimonial of sorts. I want you boys to really think about what it is I do for you and how it makes you feel. If you’d rather do it anonymously let me know and I’ll post it.
I do have a certain someone who’s a different case, not in chastity and who is local. That’s an entirely different dynamic altogether. Hubby and I pretty much Dom him together, though I am dominant to them all. I love it, it boosts my self esteem knowing how I help them, support them and give them that piece in their lives they may feel is missing.
Anyway, I’m glad I’m the Domme that I am, I’m blessed with a hubby who understands and supports me having these boys. It’s work, but I always prioritize my family and my number one locked up subby boy but I love every minute of it. Thank you to hubby and all my boys for fulfilling me and keeping me pleased like the good boys you are.
I’m sure it must be wonderfully frustrating to be woken up to a cold steel butt plug being stuffed in your tight asshole. Yeah… that’s exactly what I just said to cagedmonkey as I went in to visit him this morning and stuffed his ass with the nJoy.
The steel plug we have is only the small nJoy but I really do want to get the Large one very soon. I know Thumper has a few different plugs and I might have to talk to him about the ones he uses. One of the things I want to start with hubby is more use of the plug. With his incredible horniness and my intense teasing his prostate is swollen and the plug bounces and pushes against it forcing precum to drip and is a constant reminder of who owns his gorgeous little ass. The steel wrapped around his big manly cock is another reminder of who owns him… all of him… his mind, his body, his soul. Me, I own it… it’s mine all mine. I want him to forever and constantly be reminded of the control I have over him, the control he has given to me with his submission and devotion to me and our marriage.
This weekend we plan to discuss the “Daily tasks” that will be starting for cagedmonkey. It’s not a lot, it’s not domestic housework. It’s those things I want him to do to help show his submission and devotion to me. Those little things a sub does to show their dominant partner that they are thinking of them and doing those things they know would please them.
A few nights ago, My Lady and I were laying on the couch together, and things started to get sexual… as they very often do nowadays. 🙂 We began kissing and touching each other; things started to get really hot, really quick. I rolled over on top of ML and began thrusting my hips towards her as I kissed her deeply. All of a sudden, both of us felt it at the same time: we flipped the “power switch.” All of a sudden, I felt very dominant and powerful over ML.
When I get dominant, I tend to talk dirty a lot. I rubbed up on her, and I started asking her if she wanted to get fucked. If she missed taking my hard cock deep inside her slutty wet pussy. ML was getting turned on, too, pushing back up against me as I pushed my hips down against her. I pounded my hips down on her, doing everything I would be doing if I was fucking her pussy as hard as I could… except for the fact that my cock was still locked in its steel cage, of course.
Afterwards, I started to get a little down. All of the simulating of the dominant, forceful sex kinda made me miss it a bit. I realized that I really do miss my cock. I miss being able to fuck My Lady hard and deep. I miss the way ML’s warm pussy feels when it’s squeezing my cock. I miss being able to fuck ML more than three thrusts at a time. Hell, right now I just miss my cock getting hard!!!
I didn’t expect these feelings to show up so strong and so soon into the 24/7 month. I’ve gone 24/7 longer than this, but not with the pretense that I would be waiting an entire month for my next full erection. It’s really getting to me this time around. I’m not really having second thoughts about all of this – chastity is still the most amazing thing that has happened to our sex life, and I wouldn’t change it a bit. But still, I can’t deny that right now a decent part of me truly feels like a prisoner locked away against his will. This is when chastity truly becomes “enforced chastity.”
Tomorrow I’m headed in to have surgery to repair two tears in my rotator cuff – incase you don’t know I tore the tendons in my shoulder. It happens to be my right shoulder which is my dominant arm. After the surgery I’m going to be in a sling for 6 weeks but the first week I’m not allowed to do anything and apparently will be in some pain.
Cagedmonkey has taken some time off work to take care of me, the house and the kids. This will certainly put our WLM to the test. Cagedmonkey is going to have to take my direction, anticipate my needs and those of the kids. I’m also going to have to be ok with giving so much direction as well as being ok with asking for things.
Surprisingly enough, it’s very difficult for me to ask for help with things especially things I feel I should be doing myself. I’m really going to be depending on cagedmonkey for pretty much everything. He’s going to be cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids but on top of that he’ll be helping me get meds, get dressed, bathed, helping me get around, helping me get comfortable… like I said, everything. I do plan on working out wiping myself. 🙂 I don’t have any doubt that he can take care of things. I worry about my ability to let him! 🙂
Also to let our followers know, I write the most on the blog so it may be that we have less updates. Unless I can get cagedmonkey to get to writing while I’m unable. He does have some posts he wants to write so hopefully I can get him to put his feelings to paper, so to speak. I’ll try my best to keep you all updated so you don’t forget about us hehe.
I have no idea how much, if any, play will happen with my arm the way it will be so we’ll see if I have anything fun to post.
This past weekend we went out of town to visit family and celebrate Christmas. Cagedmonkey was locked back up on Thursday and stayed that way all through the weekend. Even with a ton of kids running around and even playing outside with them hubby had no issues with his JailBird. He was perfectly comfortable and it was like it wasn’t even there, until I got him turned on, then he knew it was there. 🙂 It was difficult being around so much family for 2 days and dying to jump each other. We did steal every moment we could for a kiss or to cop a feel.
Saturday night, after the kids got to sleep, us adults stayed up for some drinks and board games. We had an amazing amount of fun. The kids have always been too young before to do that kind of thing so I’m loving that they are getting older and we can start doing more of this stuff! It felt great to sit with adults, talking and laughing our asses off! 🙂
The whole weekend I kept waiting for someone to ask about the key hanging around my neck. I was fully prepared to say, “oh that’s the key to cagedmonkey’s chastity belt” lol though I’d say it while laughing so it seemed as though I was just joking but if never tell the real answer haha. It would have been fun!
After everyone else went to bed cagedmonkey and I stayed up a bit, had a couple more drinks and got a little frisky. We talked a lot and had some pretty intense conversations that I’m sure I don’t remember all of because of the alcohol. I do remember talking about having a “Power Switch,” as we call them. For us, a Power Switch is literally switching the D/s roll. It takes an immense amount of trust for me to do something like that because I’m naturally dominant and pretty much don’t have a submissive bone in me. Every now and then it is exciting to give up control and feel what it’s like to be forced to do something you “love to hate” doing.
Anyway, overall it was a fun weekend away and we’re back home tonight. All of us are happy to be back home to relax and enjoy some peace and quite. Well, the peace and quite of only our kids talking & fighting with each other, not 6 kids! 🙂