Discipline and Behavior Correction

Discipline and behavior correction are not my favorite things. I actually dislike having to do it and I’m lucky that I don’t have to do it that often because cagedmonkey really is quite the good boy. However, in our FLR it is my responsibility to correct him or discipline him when he isn’t behaving properly. Yesterday was one of those rare times where I had to remind hubby that he cannot forget important things when I ask him to do something.

He was supposed to stop, on his way out of work, at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription for our daughter. It really is a pain in the ass to go up to the hospital, find a parking spot in the garage and hope to hell we get in and done in the pharmacy in the free 30 minute window we have for parking. As if I want to pay $5 because I was 3 mins late from waiting in line at the pharmacy. It’s a whole hell of a lot easier, since he practically walks by the pharmacy on his way out, for him to stop and grab it.

It really wasn’t the biggest deal, it’s not a script she will die without and we still have a gallon jug here but it is a big deal that he forgot. So, that’s where I come in and last night I gave him an over-the-knee spanking by hand to remind him these things are important. I will say that in the past almost year and a half since he gave me control over his orgasm and sexual pleasure he has been much better at remembering things and focusing. I do love that part of the whole chastity thing, for him. He hated it so much when he was unfocused, forgetful and scattered. It must have felt so unstable for him to be that way. When he was in charge of his orgasms and sexual pleasure he used them improperly and directed the energy in the wrong way. Now they are mine and not his to worry about so he has much more brain power to focus on the important things in his everyday life. 🙂

The Not-So-Full Submission

I’m sure everyone knows what it’s like to have a bad day at work. Where it seems like everything is going wrong and whatever decision you make is the wrong decision. Well that’s exactly what happened Friday night while hubby was at work. It was a particularly stressful night with dude’s bleeding out in the operating room and being short staffed and people getting pissy and taking out their frustrations on each other. At about 4am Friday night (Saturday morning) I was woken up by about 16 text messages from hubby needing to talk. I spent about an hour and a half texting back and forth letting him get out his feelings and frustrations in a healthy, safe way. I validated him and it seemed to help get him through the last couple of hours.

I knew exactly how he was feeling and that he was going through one of those “I’m not good enough, I can’t do anything right, why bother,” type of things which I’m all too familiar with. This started to make me very worried about our full submission weekend that was supposed to be beginning when he arrived home at 7:30am. I started wondering if we should give up on the whole idea because I had this fear of triggering him into a downward spiral. I was fearful that if I corrected him or was unhappy with his behavior, and wanted to spank or punish him, that he would take it very badly and spin off into a deeper self confidence low.

Saturday morning, he got home and I pretty much sent him right off to bed. Once I woke him in the afternoon we had a few hours with the kids before we could really get into our full submission. However, we did do as much as we could in front of the kids. He would ask to do things quietly or give me a certain look and I knew what he was “saying.” It was coded simple stuff in front of the kids like:

Him: Do you need me to do anything before I go to the bathroom.
Me: Actually, I’d like you to take that load of laundry down and switch them, then you may.
Him: yes ma’am

Little stuff like that the kids hardly notice especially when we don’t make a big deal out of it.

Later in the evening when the kids were off to bed, the submission was much more intense. I absolutely loved hearing him whimper when I would kiss him but not allow him to touch me or kiss me back for a bit. At one point I remember grabbing him by the steel collar and pulling him to his knees in front of me where I was sitting on the couch. I demanded he eat my pussy and make me cum. There were times, too, where I would use his hands on myself while reminding him he wasn’t allowed to touch or help me in any way. He begged to kiss me while I moved his hand and covered his fingers with my juices. I whispered, “no” and kissed him, shoving my tongue deep in his mouth. As I started to cum on his fingers, I told him “kiss me, now!”

It ended up being quite hot and very frustrating for him as I controlled him the entire night and reminded him over and over, “I don’t remember you asking to do that.” It was a very nice night and I loved going to bed with him wearing only his steel collar and Jail Bird. We did wake up before the kids and I decided to take off the collar so we didn’t have to explain it to them. We thought about just telling them it was a necklace but our kids would have bugged out all day, obsessing.

Sunday morning we got up, I laid out the clothes hubby was to wear to church and we started our day. I though about what a great night we had a thought we had gotten passed the whole emotional night from Friday but that ended up not being the case. Sunday was a very rough day and the self confidence spiral began in the morning and lasted all day long. It effected me to the point of visible anger. I quit talking to cagedmonkey for a time because I was afraid I didn’t have anything nice to say.

Later last night he did apologize for his behavior but there really was no full submission at all on Sunday because he was a bit sensitive to things. It was much easier to leave it be. We did have a very nice night together last night once the kids went to bed. I unlocked his cage and let him have control of his dick for a little while. I think that helped him a bit. Once it got late I took him to the bedroom and had my way with him, using his body, cumming as much as I wanted while he continues to be denied.

The Gift of Total Submission

This weekend, I will be giving My Lady the perfect present for Valentine’s Day – I will be giving her complete control over me.

ML and I have been finding our way back into our D/s lifestyle pretty well, but we both feel that a nice intense jolt will get us back into form.

This weekend, I will be submitting fully to My Lady in every way. Everything from my movements around the house to the sexual sensations I experience will be controlled by my wife. Here are the rules I will be expected to follow:

1. I will be required to ask permission for any of the following behaviors – waking up, going to sleep, eating and/or drinking, using the bathroom, or leaving the room (which will require a kiss as “payment”). I will also be required to ask ML if she has a preference as to where I sit or stand.

2. I will only touch My Lady when and if she allows me to.

3. I will be wearing my collar the entire weekend, it will be locked on 24/7 for the entire time of my total submission.

4. I must service ML sexually by any means she deems necessary, as well as enduring whatever sexual torments she desires to put me through.

I’m already excited about this weekend, and I’m looking forward to seeing just how far she goes with the concept of total submission.

A Mid-Summer Nights Dream (or When CagedMonkey Hopes He Can Orgasm Again)

I’ve been doing a little thinking about how I want our next chastity and orgasm denial period to go. If you have been following along on our journey, the last period of denial lasted just over 100 days. I had denied cagedmonkey from late last year until our anniversary and vow renewal on Jan 18th. It was fun keeping him so horny and frustrated that long. It’s amazing having him like putty in my hands because he’s so incredibly horny and aching to have me allow him orgasm.

I want to make sure that I explain when I say chastity, that just means that we will continue incorporating the chastity device into our everyday life. Cagedmonkey is in his device just about everyday and has been since October 2013. With the exception of our two week vacation last month. Just because he is in a device does not mean he’s automatically denied orgasm. It means I control if and when he will have sexual pleasure and or orgasm.

I also want to make sure that I explain when I say orgasm denial it means I control when cagedmonkey will be allowed to have a pleasurable orgasmic experience with ejaculation. That does not necessarily mean he will be caged 24/7. It does not mean I won’t milk him or give him an ruined orgasms. It simply means I will lock and unlock the cage to use my toy as I see fit. After all, I do recall me being the keyholder & Domme in this relationship and I am in control. 🙂

As I said our last stint of denial lasted over 100 days which was over 3 months. I don’t see any reason why cagedmonkey can’t make it 6 months. His last orgasm was January 31, 2015 and my plan is to tease, torment, use, abuse and deny him until mid summer. I think we figured 6 months was around July 31st so that’s where I’m aiming. I know a lot will happen in that time. I’m sure we will find a way to get some new toys to play with and I hope to work on my rope skills because I would love to get hubby into some fun predicament bondage. I really think his steel collar will come in handy for that.

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Cagedmonkey's locking steel collar


I’m excited to share this next challenge with you since hubby has never gone that long without an orgasm!

Praise and Reassurance

So I just want to write that just as important as it is for us as women to get feedback that the boys like what we are doing, they need that same feedback from us. They need to know we are proud of them for being locked for us, for enduring our teasing etc. They also need to know if they are pleasing us with their behavior or sexual acts. How will they know to continue something I’d they don’t know ere loving it?

I find that having a submissive husband or even being dominant to a submissive man is just like parenting. I’m not saying our men are childish (though some sure can be at times) I just mean they respond well to techniques parents use with children. It’s just like you would treat a kid when you “catch them doing something good” to reinforce the behavior. So it’s important to say things like “it really pleases me when…” or “you’re doing such a good job with…” or “I really love how you are handling…” and even “Wow! What a great job doing…..” adding to any of those some hint at a reward is huge too. Saying something like “it really pleases me when you take out the garbage without asking… I might have to unlock you and tease you later!” No, you didn’t just lock yourself in and you don’t have to let him out but the thought that you might is motivation. It’s interesting how it works.

Praising and reassuring our submissives builds their confidence and keeps them pleasing us and striving for more of those compliments and possible rewards. It might be all about us Ladies (or dominants) sexually but it is about both of us emotionally. This is why I say communication is so huge. The feedback, both ways, keeps the relationship going.

Have you praised your locked boy today?