He Said, She Said/Mail Chastity: Hurts So Good?

We recently received the following comment on one of ML’s posts, specifically her post on breath control. Here is the comment from Dedicatedtoher:

Please explain to me how you can get sexual pleasure from hurting someone you love/ Where is the pleasure , the joy in hurting him? Even if he is a masochist, you have the ability to step back and say: “This I cannot do. I get no pleasure from hurting you” Your sexual thrill from inflicting pain on your husband is something I find difficult to understand. I am happy sadism does not work for my wife and I

Both of us have things we would like to say in response to this. So here is your “He Said, She Said” installment of “Mail Chastity” (or vice versa, whichever tickles your fancy).

Lady M: Thank you so much for your comment and question.  I would like to first point out that I do NOT like to hurt my husband nor do I get pleasure from it. I do love his reaction to some slight pain like pinching nipples, nails on his back or balls or even a spanking. I do believe those are all pretty common ways people create a pain sensation to get a reaction from their partner. As I said, I do not enjoy actually hurting him whatsoever. Since it is the Breath Play post in particular that you are referring to, I want to say that at no time during our play like this do I hurt or intentionally cause him pain. If that were to happen, with a misplaced thumb or something, I stop immediately and adjust. I’m actually terrified of accidentally hurting him and often cut play short sometimes. Breath play is not about pain and has everything to do with the control of his consciousness. That I do love, I love the control I have over him. I love seeing his glossed over eyes as he is slipping off into his dreamy state. That does give me a sexual charge and my crotch is instantly sopping wet and drippy. It really is not painful to experience this but rather relaxing and calm I would imagine.

I hope this helps explain it a bit and as I always say, not everyone will ever enjoy the same things when it comes to most things in life. Although… maybe bacon… everyone, except Cagemonkey, likes bacon! 🙂

Cagedmonkey: First, let me say thank you for the comment. It’s a great question, but I’d like to thank you for being so respectful. Although you may not understand or agree with the things we do, I appreciate your mature attitude towards addressing it. 🙂

I’ll start by saying that there is a big difference between “pain” and “hurt.” When ML pinches my nipples just a teeny bit too hard, that’s pain. When she leans the wrong way and kneels on my ankle or whatever, that hurts. I don’t get any sexual thrill from being hurt. Pain, yes, I find exciting. But there have been instances in the past where ML has accidentally hurt me, and we’ve stopped immediately and addressed the situation (and most likely laughed it off afterwards).

The pain itself isn’t a turn on. What turns me on is the control that is involved. ML can make me feel whatever she wants me to feel; whether that be pleasure, pain, or anywhere in the middle. I love that she can cause these sensations, and I love that I cannot fight them.

With all of that said, the asphyxiation/choking/breath play isn’t as painful as you may think it is. Again, it’s about control: My Lady controls my air supply, and along with that my ability to stay conscious. It’s actually somewhat peaceful, slipping away slowly like that. The worst thing I’d say I experience is fear as I get closer to blacking out, but I trust ML absolutely and completely.

I hope this helps shed some light on why we find this type of play erotic and exciting. It’s definitely not for everyone, but no kink really is. What works for us may not work for you. But what’s important is that it works for us. 🙂

This Lady has a Sadistic Side – Erotic Asphyxiation and Breath Control

Let me start this post with a Disclaimer of sorts – We are not a professionals, everything we do I research well and use trial and error and explore carefully. Lady & her lovely CagedMonkey take no responsibility for people being stupid and trying something without learning the dangers. FYI: Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath control can be dangerous. Other than that, enjoy! 🙂

I was talking to a guy the other day who is interested in trying out Breath play – aka Erotic Asphyxiation. So we’re just talking about choking someone, right? No, not really, it’s actually a bit more than that. Just incase there are some kinky folks reading this that are not quite sure what this is all about, let me first, explain what it is.

Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath Control is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. It is said that, the carotid arteries (on either side of the neck) carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the brain. When these are compressed, as in strangulation, the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain can increase feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten sexual sensations. It’s also stated that, when the brain is deprived of oxygen, it induces a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state. Combined with orgasm, the rush is said to be no less powerful than cocaine, and highly addictive.

Sounds intense, right? It really is… the part this doesnt describe is how it feels for the person actually causing the restriction of oxygen. In my relationship, I’m the dominant one and I’m the one who likes this and wants to do this. I introduced it to hubby. I restrict oxygen to his brain in a few different ways. I use my big breasts or my stomach to smother him and block his nose and mouth from inhaling. I use my pussy or my ass as well, during facesitting to cut off and control his breathing. Lastly, I choke him or more simply put use both hands at the sides of his neck to push in at his coratids to restrict the blood flow. I do it this way so I do not crush his windpipe.

So in my conversation with this Dom gentleman we got to talking about what he finds hot!
He said, “I’m interested in the choking part. Looking at her face with my hands around her neck and my cock pounding her pussy. To me that very exciting.”

God that sounds hot, I’ve choked hubby and that is so sexy… seeing that fear in his eyes while my hands clenched his throat. When I can see his face it’s awesome, the fear, the glistening of his eyes, the helplessness. I’ve done this once while pegging my hubby “missionary” too, it is such a huge rush and incredibly hot.

With choking… I stay away from the windpipe altogether, instead I push on his coratid arteries on the side of his neck with the side of my hands. It’s so hard to explain, but I wrap my fingers around the side and my thumbs are across his trachea. I push my fingers toward each other, into his neck to push on the arteries and block the flow of blood. I do not push in with my thumbs because that is painful and potentially deadly… you want to cut oxygen not cause actual pain or injury.

When we started this type of play it was trial and error. Once I realized what it did to me, which I’ll explain in a minute, I started researching. Of course, you know this Lady, always researching everything lol. At first I wasnt sure what would cause the wrong kind of pain, where to push etc and cagedmonkey and I set up a little signal depending on what I was doing. He would signal by tapping my butt with a certain rhythm if I was facesitting, a thumbs up giving me the ok to go further or thumbs down to stop if I was choking him.

The first time it happened it didn’t last long, the feelings scared the shit out of me and even caused a huge Domme Drop episode. We talked a lot and I did my research after that we slowly played and built up the length of time I would restrict him. Each time we played I got this huge rush and an extremely drippy wet pussy. The feelings of power are almost overwhelming and I had to take it slow. You can actually SEE the eyes lose focus and glisten when they get right on the edge of consciousness. I can feel a power come over me like a wave. I practically start to chuckle and lose my breath. I get caught up in my own feelings that sometimes I cant let go and instincely squeeze harder. I do try to catch myself before that happens. Cagedmonkey has described it to me as him seeing me kinda getting foggy to him. I can see it happen in his eyes and the thrill is so amazing! I have to be careful because I’m sure bad things could happen if I was to get too lost and forget his life is in my hands. 🙂

This Dom gentleman also asked, “Would fucking her while I sat in a chair and her straddling me with my hand over her mouth and pinching her nose work??”

I think this is something you could manage, but it be better if her back were against something, unless you are wanting her to pull away. When I play with hubby where I am restricting his actual air flow he will start to jerk and instinctively pull away and try gasping. Sometimes he will begin to thrash around and I have to hold my hubby down. So, in my opinion, to really have a good go at this you would want the receiver under you or pinned against something like the back of the couch. Plus, I mean look at the dynamic, how powerful it is to be on top of someone, holding them down, controlling their consciousness.

Again, I want to warn that this is a very delicate thing and you should use extreme caution. Please do not try these things unless you have done some research. Be safe and Enjoy! 🙂

 

Going Deeper and Getting Darker

It’s creeping up on a month since my last orgasm now, and I can definitely feel my horniness taking on a whole new intensity. I don’t know if it’s because ML has been teasing me out of the cage more, or if it’s the use of the super-confining Revenge, or it could just be the fact that I’m a male with an incredibly high sex drive who has gone cum-less for so long…. but I can feel the need growing. I’d never use my safeword with ML just because I wanted to cum, but this weekend for the first time I considered thinking about possibly maybe using it. It’s that bad.

And I have how much longer to go?

Actually, the answer to that question is not 100% clear. It has been somewhat assumed that my next Maybe Day is our anniversary, seeing as we go on our Carribean cruise the week following. Assumed, but not decided on. And, as always, it is ML’s choice to make whether or not I actually get to cum on any Maybe Day. I feel somewhat safe about this time around; after this, I honestly have no clue.

I can feel my sexual need starting to take over me. Any time I am close to ML, any time I look at her I get turned on. I’ve had to battle with incredibly strong morning wood just about all week, my cock filling the cage and nearly bursting through the bars of the Jailbird. And my fantasies have beginning to get very intense.

Oddly enough, this is very exciting to me. I was secretly worried that maybe I was starting to veer off of the “kink” path in some ways, but these urges show me otherwise. I’ll explain. For the past few weeks, ML has been using my face to get her horny pussy off. I am enjoying it to no end. There have been moments, however, where she gets a little overeager and covers my face with her gooey wetness enough where I am unable to breathe.  We’ve explored this before and enjoyed it very much, but recently I’ve been trying to avoid it. I don’t know why, exactly… I just wasn’t into it. But now that my uncontrollable horniness has taken over, I’m very aggreeable to whatever ML wants to do with me – whether it be smother me with her huge titties, force me to lick her pussy until my jaw aches, or queening me until I pass out tongue fucking her ass.

Even our most recent discussions about the pseudo-cuckolding fantasies are getting darker and more intense… do I really want to be locked into the steel bars and be forced to watch another man jerk off and cum all over my wife’s tits? Do I want to be teased mercilessly, edged over and over, and have to beg this man to either let me have an orgasm or allow the torment to stop?

I guess the real question is… do I want to have a choice in the matter?

I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that question.

Am I a Sadist?

Sadist (sey-dist):
noun

1. a person who… receives sexual gratification from causing pain and degradation to another.

2. a person who enjoys being cruel.

So under the actual definition of a sadist, I am far from one. I do not enjoy causing pain or being cruel nor do I get anything remotely close to sexual gratification from it. Quite the opposite actually.

I’ve noticed that one thing Male Chastity has done for us is to open up communication and sexual exploration. We have experimented with the idea of things – usually through a good ear whispering mindfuck and found “Wow, that really turned me on!” That then kicks in my desire to research and explore that thing.

What I’ve found out recently is that I really (really, really, really!) love control. I’m not talking about controlling orgasms, I’m talking about controlling something at a much deeper level. I’m talking about having someone completely helpless and vulnerable. Well that’s easy, right? Just bind someone up, handcuffs or rope work great. Yeah, you’re right, that’s pretty fantastic. I’m finding that I do really like rope and bondage but I’m talking even deeper than that! I’m talking about having someone completely helpless and vulnerable at my own hands.

Let me try to explain it this way. I, kind of on accident, slid my hand up and around cagedmonkey’s throat. He got this incredible look of fear in his eyes, he gasped and a slight moan escaped his lips. That reaction caused me to squeeze just a little tighter and push up further under his chin. I leaned in and kissed him so deep and he let out a whimpering moan. I had him in my hands, at my will, he could barely kiss me back because I had such a strong dominant hold on his neck and jaw. I wasn’t choking him, he could breathe but I was close enough that the fear was there. The fear that I could easily lean into my grip and crush his trachea.

You may be wondering how I found out that I like this. That’s simple, just as I leaned in to give him that kiss I got such an intense jolt shoot through the middle of my body. It literally was a jolt of pleasure that shot up the center of me from my crotch up into my chest. It was so strong that it caused me to buck my hips, arch my back and let out a very throaty moan. Over the next minute or so I felt my body twitching and lurching, muscles tightening… wait a minute, I’m sure you know that feeling. To put it simply, having my husband in that vulnerable position and him reacting that way caused me to spontaneously orgasm. I was not being touched in a sexual way. I was merely straddling him like I always do.

Through our play we’ve already discovered I enjoy breath play and I knew I kinda liked it when I would hold cagedmonkey down. Pinning him to the mattress with my hands or my knees and using my own body and weight to hold him down against his will. We haven’t exactly explored that deeply but after this recent discovery, I’m positive we will.

At first I was very surprised at myself and maybe even a little scared that I would like something like this. I don’t know why I would like it, how could I like it? It so not right, not something a normal person would enjoy. What is wrong with me? Well, one thing that communication with cagedmonkey has done is given me someone to talk to about those feelings. Someone to tell me it’s ok to enjoy something with another consenting adult. There doesn’t have to be an explanation or reason for liking it. We decided awhile back, in exploring these things, that we would stop asking or worrying about why. We would just go with what felt good… as long as we both felt good doing it.

I do believe a spontaneous orgasm would be the classic definition of “sexual gratification” from something. I’m content accepting the fact that I have this “fetish” but what exactly IS this fetish? I do not feel this fits what a sadist is but rather my fetish is about complete control over someone, down to the most basic of needs… like breathing.

Is there a name that describes this intense sexual gratification from control?

My Out Of Control Horny!

You would think this post would be coming from the guy in the chastity cage who hasn’t seen or felt his own dick in days. Who hardly gets a chance to even get hard, let alone cum!

BUT, it’s not! It’s ME who has a crazy out of control horny problem haha! It is to cagedmonkey’s benefit because he loves when I dominate him and make him be submissive to me by demanding he get on his knees and lick my pussy any time I get a chance. God, I just love holding the back of his head and pushing his face into my extremely wet dripping pussy. Seriously, my crotch is dripping wet today it’s on my thighs! If he’s not there cleaning it up as much as possible how else will I keep from leaking through my panties and pants?

This all started yesterday, cagedmonkey and I had a visit from a friend and the whole situation made me kinda hot. It was almost purely a vanilla visit but, you know me, I love to be a cock tease so I just had to make sure he left with a view to remember. He got an eyeful of my big tits on his way out hehe. 🙂 He told me later how hard he got and how it wanted to bust out of his pants. *giggle* that’s just drives me crazy because I love to know I turn someone on and tease them enough to go masturbate!

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Now before you all get crazy saying we’ve said before that cuckolding is not our thing… it isn’t! Not in the true sense of the word. I’m not looking to have sex with anyone else but my hubby. However, if you read our post on “Pseudo-cuckolding” you would understand our boy toys are all about being used to make my hubby jealous that they can do what he can’t and desperately wants to… meaning getting turned on by me and then getting an erection, touching, holding and stroking their own cocks and cumming when, where and how they want. Now, me getting to tease, encourage and/or provide the visual stimulation to help our boy toys get to that point is just a bonus because I truly get off on being the thing that arouses men! 🙂

So, today, from the minute cagedmonkey got home this morning he’s been touching, fingering or licking my pussy. 🙂 I pretty much attacked him when he walked in the door. With his coat still on I pushed him up against the door and kissed him hard and deep. He had his hand in my pants almost immediately flicking his finger over my very wet horny clit. I finally let him get inside the house and settled and I went to make the kids breakfast. While I was in the kitchen I couldn’t stand the dripping between my legs making me hornier so I called cagedmonkey into the kitchen to “help me for just a minute.” I pointed down, motioning to him to get on his knees, he whispered, “yes ma’am” and did as he was told. I lifted my nightshirt, put my hand on the back of his head and pulled his face into the hot wetness between my legs. Ahhhhhh that felt good!

When it was finally time for him to go to bed this morning I went up to “tuck him in” and made him, again, lick my sopping wetness to a couple orgasms. I am just so damn turned on today that even that wasn’t enough. I had him get my favorite dildo (man I can’t thank the friend who gave me that gift enough!!) and fuck me nice and good with it til I came another couple times. 🙂

I think I’m satisfied… for now, but I totally feel my horny building again ready to drip down my legs. I certainly hope I don’t see an email from our young friend to cagedmonkey telling him all about how exactly he masturbated thinking of me yesterday. How it felt to hold his hard cock in his hand and stroke it slowly, then building faster and faster. Oy ok, enough of that Lady! Shhhhhhhhh!

I’m sure in a bit here hubby will be waking up to my wet pussy over his mouth as I sit on his face and make him drink up my warm wet juices!

Hope you have yourself a happy horny day! :)~

He Said, She Said – Queening & Squirting

cagedmonkey: My Lady has really begun to enjoy the practice of queening. She sits atop me, covering my face with her pussy and asshole. On prior occasions, she uses this as a way to play with breath control, limiting my oxygen as she forces me to tongue fuck her pussy. The other day was a little different – she sat facing my feet, her pussy covering the top half of my face while my mouth was free to breathe… although I was using it mostly to lick her swollen clit .

She was getting into it, enjoying herself very much as she rubbed her pussy up and down on my face. My nose was pressing between her pussy lips as I sucked and licked her clit. I love it when she takes charge like this and basically fucks my face the way she wants it. 🙂

Then I notice her reaching for one of her new favorite toys – the magic wand. 🙂 She turned in on, and soon I felt the vibrations of the wand pulsing through her pussy right down to my mouth. It didn’t take her very long to begin to moan and her hips to writhe against my face. Another few moments and she was cumming hard; I felt her pussy quiver on my face, and her hips press down onto my face. I was frantically licking her clit, trying to push her farther through her orgasm. Then, suddenly… My Lady was squirting pussy juice RIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!! I could hear her moaning loudly, and my mouth was quickly filling up with her warm pussy juice! I had no choice but to swallow it all, but the squirting did not stop. As I swallowed, she continued squirting on my face, her juices running down my face and neck, soaking my pillow in the process.

All in all, I had to swallow three times until My Lady was finished hosing me down with her pussy! She was shaking as she lifted herself off of me, and was amazed by how much she had squirted.

It was SOOOOO FUCKING HOT!!! I absolutely love it when My Lady squirts. For one, I know she is in the middle of an intense orgasm when she does, and I very often have a sympathetic orgasm/body spasm when it happens. Secondly, it is a huge mindfuck – My Lady is squirting cum from her pussy, meanwhile I can’t squirt cum from my cock while I am locked in my cage! It’s almost as if she’s taunting me as she’s cumming her brains out!

Lady M:

I just love taking a few minutes our of the day to go up and sit on cagedmonkey’s face. It feels so good to be in control of how and when my pussy will be licked. It feels incredible to grind down on his face and fuck myself with his tongue. The one thing that makes me moan the most is when he sticks out and firms up his tongue and I push down hard to penetrate my asshole. I love to pull my cheeks apart to make more room to get him in deeper.

The other day wasn’t meant to be any different other than I sent the kids outside to play in the snow so I was hoping to get a bit loud. I guess I got what I wanted! I went up, woke him up as I situated myself on his face and started to slide my pussy up and down on his face. I was rubbing his nose from my asshole to my clit over and over. Pretty much everyday my pussy is very sloppy wet and horny so he was already getting a good slathering. 🙂

While I was up there I sat up and leaned back so I was sitting upright on his face which pushed my ass a little more toward his forehead. I thought, “oooo it would be great to rub my clit right now and force him feel me cum without him doing it!” So I did just that… I had my clit just above his mouth and started rubbing it as I was grinding down on his nose. It felt so good and I loved being able to moan out loud, but I just wasn’t getting to climax as quickly as I wanted to in that position. I figured I might as well try to push it along faster by using my rather new Magic Wand. So far it hadn’t been super productive but I figured it can’t hurt to try. I reached under my pillow next to him (that’s where I keep my wand plugged in for whenever I want to use it) and pulled out the wand. I’m sure he had no clue what I was doing until he felt the vibrations! I placed the end of the wand just at the top of my clit so he could continue to lick as frantically as he already was.

It really did not take too long, as I was so aroused and half way to orgasm as it was, for me to hit my peak. I was already moaning so loud from riding his face but wow, did it feel good to push through that orgasm and be able to let it out. It was an amazing, hard, long cum too and I felt myself squirt a little. Once I squirt a little, you might as well get a bucket and a mop because there go the gushes! My thighs tightened against the sides of his head and shook as my entire body tensed up and convulsed. My back pressed against the wall as I felt my pussy tightening and relaxing over and over like waves coming from the inside out. I felt the muscles push and the big gush of pussy juice… and then again and again. I was overflowing cagedmonkey’s mouth with my warm juices.

From the moment I switched on that wand all I could hear was the muffled “fuck, oh fuck” coming from hubby’s mouth. I suspect he knew he was about to be swallowing a lot of my sweet yummy squirts. Talk about HOT! I just loved hearing him moan and gasp like that and trying to talk while his mouth is buried between my pussy lips.

It seemed like my orgasm went on for like 5 mins, moaning so loud and breathing so hard. My body seemed to tense up more and more with each contraction. After what felt like forever my shoulder started to hurt to the point of me not being able to handle it. I had to pull the wand away and I just kinda fell forward onto cagedmonkey’s chest and stomach. I laid there breathing heavy knowing that if my shoulder didn’t hurt I could have kept going and feeling that amazing orgasm even longer. I certainly wasn’t done and it lingered the rest of the day.

Life had other plans than me enjoying that orgasm any longer. I’m kinda glad God has a hand in it because as soon as I regained my composure we heard little boots thumping on the floor downstairs. It was the kids coming in from playing in the snow! 🙂 I climbed off cagedmonkey, slid my pants back on, walked down the stairs and asked the kids if they had fun… as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, left upstairs breathing heavy on the bed, was my husband trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. 🙂

Talk about good timing!