This Lady has a Sadistic Side – Erotic Asphyxiation and Breath Control

Let me start this post with a Disclaimer of sorts – We are not a professionals, everything we do I research well and use trial and error and explore carefully. Lady & her lovely CagedMonkey take no responsibility for people being stupid and trying something without learning the dangers. FYI: Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath control can be dangerous. Other than that, enjoy! 🙂

I was talking to a guy the other day who is interested in trying out Breath play – aka Erotic Asphyxiation. So we’re just talking about choking someone, right? No, not really, it’s actually a bit more than that. Just incase there are some kinky folks reading this that are not quite sure what this is all about, let me first, explain what it is.

Erotic Asphyxiation/Breath Control is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. It is said that, the carotid arteries (on either side of the neck) carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the brain. When these are compressed, as in strangulation, the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain can increase feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten sexual sensations. It’s also stated that, when the brain is deprived of oxygen, it induces a lucid, semi-hallucinogenic state. Combined with orgasm, the rush is said to be no less powerful than cocaine, and highly addictive.

Sounds intense, right? It really is… the part this doesnt describe is how it feels for the person actually causing the restriction of oxygen. In my relationship, I’m the dominant one and I’m the one who likes this and wants to do this. I introduced it to hubby. I restrict oxygen to his brain in a few different ways. I use my big breasts or my stomach to smother him and block his nose and mouth from inhaling. I use my pussy or my ass as well, during facesitting to cut off and control his breathing. Lastly, I choke him or more simply put use both hands at the sides of his neck to push in at his coratids to restrict the blood flow. I do it this way so I do not crush his windpipe.

So in my conversation with this Dom gentleman we got to talking about what he finds hot!
He said, “I’m interested in the choking part. Looking at her face with my hands around her neck and my cock pounding her pussy. To me that very exciting.”

God that sounds hot, I’ve choked hubby and that is so sexy… seeing that fear in his eyes while my hands clenched his throat. When I can see his face it’s awesome, the fear, the glistening of his eyes, the helplessness. I’ve done this once while pegging my hubby “missionary” too, it is such a huge rush and incredibly hot.

With choking… I stay away from the windpipe altogether, instead I push on his coratid arteries on the side of his neck with the side of my hands. It’s so hard to explain, but I wrap my fingers around the side and my thumbs are across his trachea. I push my fingers toward each other, into his neck to push on the arteries and block the flow of blood. I do not push in with my thumbs because that is painful and potentially deadly… you want to cut oxygen not cause actual pain or injury.

When we started this type of play it was trial and error. Once I realized what it did to me, which I’ll explain in a minute, I started researching. Of course, you know this Lady, always researching everything lol. At first I wasnt sure what would cause the wrong kind of pain, where to push etc and cagedmonkey and I set up a little signal depending on what I was doing. He would signal by tapping my butt with a certain rhythm if I was facesitting, a thumbs up giving me the ok to go further or thumbs down to stop if I was choking him.

The first time it happened it didn’t last long, the feelings scared the shit out of me and even caused a huge Domme Drop episode. We talked a lot and I did my research after that we slowly played and built up the length of time I would restrict him. Each time we played I got this huge rush and an extremely drippy wet pussy. The feelings of power are almost overwhelming and I had to take it slow. You can actually SEE the eyes lose focus and glisten when they get right on the edge of consciousness. I can feel a power come over me like a wave. I practically start to chuckle and lose my breath. I get caught up in my own feelings that sometimes I cant let go and instincely squeeze harder. I do try to catch myself before that happens. Cagedmonkey has described it to me as him seeing me kinda getting foggy to him. I can see it happen in his eyes and the thrill is so amazing! I have to be careful because I’m sure bad things could happen if I was to get too lost and forget his life is in my hands. 🙂

This Dom gentleman also asked, “Would fucking her while I sat in a chair and her straddling me with my hand over her mouth and pinching her nose work??”

I think this is something you could manage, but it be better if her back were against something, unless you are wanting her to pull away. When I play with hubby where I am restricting his actual air flow he will start to jerk and instinctively pull away and try gasping. Sometimes he will begin to thrash around and I have to hold my hubby down. So, in my opinion, to really have a good go at this you would want the receiver under you or pinned against something like the back of the couch. Plus, I mean look at the dynamic, how powerful it is to be on top of someone, holding them down, controlling their consciousness.

Again, I want to warn that this is a very delicate thing and you should use extreme caution. Please do not try these things unless you have done some research. Be safe and Enjoy! 🙂


7 responses to “This Lady has a Sadistic Side – Erotic Asphyxiation and Breath Control

  1. Please explain to me how you can get sexual pleasure from hurting someone you love/ Where is the pleasure , the joy in hurting him? Even if he is a masochist, you have the ability to step back and say: “This I cannot do. I get no pleasure from hurting you” Your sexual thrill from inflicting pain on your husband is something I find difficult to understand. I am happy sadism does not work for my wife and I


    • Thank you for your comment. You ask an excellent question, and the answer deserves more than just a reply in the comments section. ML and I want to address this in a post, so stay tuned!


  2. It seems to me that stopping the blood flow to that brain and stopping the flow of air into the lungs are two VERY different things. Drowning, for example, causes one to panic, just as having someone cover your nose and mouth, while cutting off the flow of blood in the carotid arteries is not so traumatic. So if one wanted to do this with a woman sitting on his lap, pressing against the sides of her neck might be the way to go. As for the feelings of power and control, I would think any position would still give you that feeling.
    Just saying…


    • Slave_nemo, thanks so much for your comment! You’re right, they are technically two different things but both are considered “Breath play” because, again, it’s depriving the brain of oxygen.

      I understand the drowning thing and not wanting the “struggling to breathe” feeling. The coratids is another way to experience that.

      I will say the coratids is a much milder way without the struggling to get to that foggy, euphoric state. Hubby slowly drifts that way, rather than attention to gap and pull away if in blocking his air/smothering him.


  3. Nope, not for me, this is one of my [few] Limits. I came very, very close to drowning once, having run out of air while diving. Even though it was more than 40 years ago, I can still see (in my mind) the image of the sun shining on the surface of the water and feel the panic, frustration and desperation of trying to claw my way toward it with no discernible progress as though it was just yesterday, while fighting against the thought of how easy it would be to give up, breathe in the water and end the struggle. Don’t want to go there again. Mrs. Twisted has occasionally gotten carried away while sitting on my face and I have found that there is absolutely no eroticism in it for me.


    • Awww wow Twisted… yeah, those kinds of traumas shape us as human beings!

      This definitely isn’t for everyone, sometimes I feel myself getting way too into it and scare myself! Not into it like I want to hurt him or anything… after a bit it actually no longer is about him and it’s all about me caught up my own feelings in my body that I almost don’t feel him there in my hands. It’s very weird to describe and makes me seem like a freaking psycho describing it. But I need to get it out.

      Sometimes I wonder if this power thing, in this way, comes from when I was a kid… I got in a physical fight with my older brother and managed to get him on the ground (he was much bigger than me), pin him with my body and start choking him yelling at him to stop… I started hyperventilating and couldn’t stop choking him. It was like I was locked in that moment, unresponsive. He had to act on instinct so I didn’t kill him and he threw me off of him, dumped and entire loaf of bread on the counter and yelled at me to breath into it.

      It was crazy but I can picture it like it was yesterday and it was probably close to 30yrs ago.


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