Sick Keyholder – Anxiety & Regaining Confidence

Being sick for this long has really taken a toll on this Keyholder. I haven’t had that physical connection with cagedmonkey since Saturday. I mean we’ve tried but how long can you actually kiss with a stuffy nose before gasping for air? We’ve tried to be touchy feely and while that feels good I’m dealing with a tummy getting nauseous at the same time. My nose is all sore from blowing it constantly and my lips are all chapped. It’s really sexy, I tell ya.

I feel like my confidence has taken a hit in all of this as well. Usually, daily, I’m seeing or feeling a reaction to my aggression/dominance but since we’ve been sick there really hasn’t been any. We’ve haven’t felt like teasing really or anything like that in the past few days either.

Last night I was feeling some pretty yucky anxiety. Cagedmonkey, being sick, has been home from work more nights this week than normal. I usually have a little trouble on his first night back to work after being off, anyway, but last night got me particularly hard. I guess I should have prepared myself better for him going but I didn’t. So yeah, I had him get on his knees in front of me and hold me while I told him I was having a hard time. Cagedmonkey knows me very well after all these years and knows what I need to help me through.

Maybe this all sounds lame to some and not very becoming of a big bad ass Keyholder but it’s reality. I’m a little nutty and insecure sometimes and I’m just glad my subby hubby loves me and cares enough to give me what I need to push through and regain my composure and confidence.

Ya see, all that wonderful love he showed last night really helped when he got home from work this morning. I went up to tuck him in and unlocked his cage to release the sexiness within. He’s still not allowed to touch himself until my birthday, in a week and a half, so I put him in the bondage mittens. I had him get on his side and I spooned him and gave him quite the mind fucking while stroking his cock. Telling him all the things I could force him to do. Making him watch as I was fondling his cock and stroking him, something he hasn’t done in 16 days. I just love feeling that big thick hard cock in my hand. I had him so extremely turned on that he gushed precum onto my hand. I really enjoy getting him to that point.

One of the things that really got a good reaction out of him was when I told him how I could spoon him while wearing the strap-on. I explained in a sexy whisper how I could hold his cock in my hand and the only way he would be stroked was if he would push back against me. He would basically have to penetrate and violate himself to get any pleasure for his cock. What a dilemma! Such a humiliating thing to do just to feel that stroke on his shaft!

Hehe that really got him breathing heavy and moaning slightly. He even started to buck against me a bit too. I really think he liked the idea of being forced to do something he hated if he wanted any pleasure.

Such fun in teasing the mind. I’m also happy to feel myself getting back into the groove, so to speak.


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