Bad to the Boner

My Lady recently postedΒ on a common dilema that keyholders face: do they want their sub to be so desperate that he will disobey his domme? It’s a very interesting take, and I completely understand where she is coming from.Β  Speaking for myself, I’m not the type to go against my keyholder. I absolutely LOVE being subjected to her desires, servicing her needs, and partaking in her pleasure. Nothing turns me on more than pleasing My Lady. I would probably need some sort of signal from her to indicate her mood, otherwise I would most likely obey her to the ends of the earth. After all, isn’t that what I got into this for?

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I never really understood the purpose of an “anti-pullout” feature on a chastity device. I get the idea of increased security leading to a more complete chastity experience, but an anti-pullout device really shouldn’t be necessary. First of all, if you need to be prevented from pulling out that badly, you’re going to find another way to get out of your cage. Even the best designed anti-pullout can be defeated with a little determination… and a fair bit of pain, I would assume! Second of all, if you need to be prevented from pulling out that badly, it probably means that you aren’t ready for the realities of giving over complete control in a chastity situation. Nobody out there has “accidentally” slipped out of their cage; it’s a deliberate action to disobey your keyholder.

Why would a man in chastity want to purposefully disobey his keyholder? In my opinion, these are guys who are still trying to cling to some sense of control over their situation – “topping from the bottom,” as it were. These are the guys who tell their keyholder what they want to have done to them, and throw a tantrum when they don’t get it. These are the guys who lock themselves in a device without the request of their keyholder.Β  They aren’t ready to hand over full and complete control to their keyholder.

And you know what? It’s okay! It’s okay if you are one of those guys. Nobody should enter a full, indefinite chastity lifestyle (like the one My Lady and I live) without considering their true feelings about being powerless. Communication between the sub and keyholder about these feelings is important so both can find common ground to start on. If you don’t start off on the same page, resentment can build in the relationship. And resentment is a total turnoff.

Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby

I write this blog based on our experiences, feelings and general knowledge. I’m not a professional nor do I claim to be an expert. I do know that there are some feelings and emotions in this lifestyle that are pretty common. You don’t have to be a Domme or a Keyholder, all you have to be is a partner to someone who has fantasies.
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In our contract, cagedmonkey and I are both required to share any and all fantasies with each other. No matter how crazy, absurd or off the wall they may seem. We are also required to listen to each others fantasies without judgement and with open-mindedness (is that a word?). There are two ways we can respond to fantasies, enthusiastically: “Ooo, damn baby that sounds great I want to try that!” Or accepting: “well, that’s interesting. I don’t think that’s something I’d be into, at least not right now but it is interesting.” This is when we can ask questions, see what the reasoning is behind the fantasy, spanking? humiliation? pain? etc and maybe see if there is even some aspect of it we might like to explore.

One thing someone can start to feel, when hearing your partners fantasies, is responsible. We instantly feel like we HAVE to fulfill said fantasies. We start to feel intimidated by the fantasies thinking we will never measure up. Well I’m here to set the record straight… just because someone has a fantasy does not mean it needs to be fulfilled or that they even want it fulfilled. Not everything can be done but the thought of some things is enough to get a guy to struggle against those cage bars! πŸ™‚

There are several ways to handle a fantasy. Some are like, “Woohoo! I want to do that right now!” Others are like, “well, let’s look in to how to do that right but it sounds awesome so let’s explore.” Some might be like, “I’m not sure I’m into all of that but I did like __________ and I would love to try that part.” And still others are like, “Holy shit you cray cray in the hay hay!” Those fantasies may be better off left as a fantasy inside your nutty little head. Haha however that’s not to say those “head fantasies” cannot be used later to mindfuck your partner.

My point in all of this (mostly to the newer Keyholder or partner in charge) is to remind everyone that we are not at all responsible for fulfilling fantasies. We certainly can, and will I’m sure, but it is in no way a requirement of any relationship. They can be just as fun fulfilled as they are talked about.

So now… what are your fantasies? I’m putting out a request, I’d love to hear one of your favorite fantasies that has been fulfilled, that you wish was fulfilled or that is just a really hot thought in your head.

Please leave a comment or send us an email! πŸ™‚

Back to Basics – Tease & Orgasm Denial

One thing that goes very well with Male Chastity is tease and orgasm denial. It is not a requirement but it’s a great technique. Having that cage around their cock controlling when and if a guy gets an erection makes it easy and fun to control when and if they will have an orgasm. πŸ™‚

I don’t think I’m an easy person to take when it comes to tease and denial. I can get pretty intense. I have to say, I’m very impressed with cagedmonkey’s ability to hold out during my teasing. Yesterday, I spent the entire day controlling my big caged cock. Usually hubby spends his days unable to get an erection but yesterday I decided he would spend as much of the day as possible with a raging hard cock.

Every chance I got I would tease him, stroke him, grab him and rub on him to get him standing at attention. I was so turned on by teasing him that at one point I took him upstairs pushed him down on the bed, unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out that big hard cock. I climbed up top and edged him with my pussy over and over again. I was so sloppy wet and so turned on that I decided to make his eyes bug and I slid his big thick hard-on deep in my ass. Not gently, not slowly, I just slid it right in, all the way! I love hearing that gasp when I do something that shocks him! πŸ™‚

So this sort of play continued as much as possible all day long. We even went out to dinner last night as a family. Before we went I told him that at some point during dinner I was going to tell him to go to the bathroom. He was to go, stroke himself to the edge and walk back with his huge bulging boner. I told him I’d feel it when he came back to the table and if it wasn’t hard enough he’d have to go back and do it better. So as soon as we finished our appetizer I leaned over and whispered, “Don’t you think you ought to use the bathroom before our meals come?” He responded, “yes, ma’am” and off he went.

When he came back to the table he was extremely hard and dripping precum already. I rubbed him under the table a few times through his pants and realized he had leaked through his boxers and jeans and got my hand wet and sticky! Now that’s a lot of precum! πŸ™‚

Our night didn’t end there, hehe. Once we got the littles to bed I gave him almost an hour of straight stroking and teasing and ruined back to back orgasms for him. Then I continued stroking him even after he was begging me to stop because he was so tired! I giggled my ever so entertained little girl giggle the whole time, how fun!

Hey, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it way worse than you imagined! hehe πŸ™‚

Keyholder Dilemma – Do I Want Him To Disobey Me?

Being a wife and Keyholder can bring on a lot of confusing and conflicting feelings. Especially when it comes to whether or not we want to allow our sweet locked up boys to orgasm.

I noticed last night as cagedmonkey and I were messing around that I had this feeling of wanting him to be so horny for me that he would just take me. That’s all fine and dandy because I have such a devoted, good boy that I can take his hand and put it on the back of my head and he knows I want him to grab my hair, flip me on to the couch and slide into me. What he also knows is that I don’t want him to cum while having his way with me… and he won’t.

While 99.999999% of the time I do not want him to, I really think there is this itty bitty part of me that wishes I could push him past the point of being a good boy. I said, I THINK! It really felt like it last night. I felt like I wished he was so horny he would disobey me. Of course if he did, he’d be punished for it because it would be cumming without permission but maybe part of me wants that? Maybe part of me wants him to disobey so I can punish him? I really DON’T want him to cum. However, there is this little part of me wants to know if I’m THAT irresistible. Could I possibly get him so horny that it pushes him so far as to not be the extremely devoted good boy that he is.

Perhaps just getting him to a begging, pleading, practically crying mess will satisfy my “am I irresistible?” feeling. It’s so frustrating because like I said I really don’t want him to but maybe I do want him to challenge me!

Anyway… I’m not sure what I really want but cagedmonkey and I talked about this very thing today because that’s what you do in a relationship. You talk, about everything! I told him how conflicting the feelings were but that the “don’t orgasm” feelings beat out the “disobey me” ones. We talked about how we could get to a point of, in the moment, letting him know that he had a choice to obey my rules or disobey them. Well really he always has that choice but if he disobeyed at any other time I would be extremely disappointed and probably get depressed and his punishment would be pretty severe. If there was that moment of me being like “well I wouldn’t be devastated if he was so so so bad that he just had to disobey me and take me” I would need to be able to let him know. If it was a moment like that where I let him know with a few choice words there would still be consequences but perhaps no where near as harsh as him making that decision on his own whim.

I’m telling you… if you ever think your wife, girlfriend, partner and Keyholder has an easy job, you are very mistaken! A lot of us get these conflicted feelings. That’s not to say everyone does but I’m sure a good amount of us do.

Male Chastity Makes Me Horny

You probably thought this post would be from cagedmonkey, huh? Well it’s not, it’s from me! This whole chastity thing seriously gets me going. I’m constantly horny, constantly wet, ready and waiting to be pleased.

It’s so crazy that sometimes I’ll misread things and turn them sexual. And even the other night cagedmonkey was eating a tomato – yes a tomato – and I got all kinds of turned on. The way he was eating it and slurping up the juices reminded me so much of him eating my pussy. I just love it so much to lay back, head on a pillow, back arched, legs spread while he kisses, licks, sucks and pleases my pussy. How he basically makes out with my pussy lips and tongues my clit.

I really just shook my like, “why the hell an I thinking like that?” LoL