Keyholder Motivation: Why Do We Keep Them Locked?


It’s not always easy being a wife or girlfriend AND a Keyholder. When cagedmonkey first handed me the key to his chastity device, it was a bit of an emotional moment. First of all, it happen much before either one of us thought it would. Second, I felt a huge amount of trust from him but also a load of responsibility. I may have even gotten some tears in my eyes!

I know we haven’t been on this journey nearly as long as some but we have experienced our share of emotions. The first few times I had cagedmonkey locked I was very influenced by his whining and was very sensitive to him wanting out. We’ve had plenty of discussions now about how he desires me to be in control and not at all influenced by his begging. He wants every decision about his sexual needs and wants to be mine. Even if he is begging and crying to get out or cum, he wants me to only allow him out if I want him out. If I have a desire to see him get hard, to play with him or to even allow him to cum.

At first this was a very hard thing to really do. It’s not easy to grab a hold of the dominant role immediately when it’s handed over. It can take some time to fully grasp the power you can have over your man. I’m naturally a controlling person and enjoy the dominant role in life. I prefer knowing things will be done my way and to my satisfaction. Even though someone says “here, control me” you don’t really know until you are in it, living it, experiencing it how much control they really want you to have. You don’t really know what they will really do for you. It takes time to grow into being dominant over someone else and ultimately being their Keyholder.

Although it’s only been a sort time, I’ve settled into my role quite nicely. I no longer feel a need to release cagedmonkey because he’s whining or even because I see him wincing in pain from the cock straining so hard in his cage and pulling on his balls. Afterall, isn’t this what he asked for? He asked me to take control of every part of his sexual being. He asked to be locked up and controlled. Last night, is a prime example of how much I’ve changed and that he’s in a very rough spot. He was begging, whimpering and whining to cum. He was even begging (very hard) for a ruined, in-the-cage, orgasm! I just giggled because I think it’s so hot to hear him get like that. It really just causes my pussy to get sopping, drippy wet knowing I make him get like that. To hear him begging me, knowing I control any and everything about that beautiful locked up aching, needy cock.

The reality is, he’s getting everything he asked for… and a whole lot more! 😀

I Have the Best Keyholder in the World!

Sorry to all you other guys, but it’s true. My wife is the absolute BEST keyholder in the world.

For me, at least.  🙂

It takes a certain kind of relationship to make this chastity thing work. My wife and I have been through a lot, but nothing would have been able to prepare us for this if we didn’t fully trust each other. When we are fully open and honest with each other, we often find that we are not only on the same page or even paragraph – we are on the same freaking word!

I think back to when we were writing out our chastity agreement. Even though I was giving My Lady complete control over sexual abilities (including the ability to orgasm or even simply getting a hardon), I knew there were some neighborhoods and areas I’d rather not explore. I was struggling with how to explain this oxymoron of a situation – “I want you to do whatever you want, but not if what you want is one of these things” – I was kind of worried it wouldn’t come out right. What a pleasant surprise it was when I found out that ML was not interested in those same things! Writing up our agreement went so much easier than I expected, and we were both more than happy to sign it.

My keyholder knows just how to play me. She knows where all of my buttons are and she presses them often. She knows that a subtle change in posture can flip the switch in my brain and instantly have me wanting to kiss and lick her body all over. And when my brain is stuck on sex, she knows how to push me and push me until my chest is tight and I can’t breathe. And when she gets me alone…. well, from her previous post, it’s obvious she can turn me into a quivering, whimpering puddle of frustration and need pretty much any time she wants.

And that’s what I need. I need a keyholder who will use me for her pleasure and amusement. A keyholder who won’t take my requests or pleads into account when deciding what she does. A keyholder who expects me to worship her mind and body every moment of every day.

Nobody else could do this for me but My Lady.

Teasing Him to Tears

I know I’m always trying to find that new unique way to tease cagedmonkey. I’m constantly worried about becoming a predictable, boring wife and Keyholder. I also know I’m not the only one since I’m asked quite often from other wives and Keyholders about how to keep things interesting. When you search online looking for tease ideas you never get actual descriptions of how to tease your guy but rather a very vague “if you know what they like, do that!” It’s one thing to know what they like and another thing altogether to try something they MIGHT like. Personally, I’d love to know some great trigger words or actual descriptions of what a regular couple does. We’re not all hardcore into BDSM so the tying up and spanking, humiliation or feminization is just not our thing. I guess you could call a lot of what we do: Vanilla Tease & Denial. 🙂

So I decided I would describe one of our prolonged, pretty intense tease sessions where cagedmonkey had tears in his eyes. Prolonged edging could be considered a bit of torture, I suppose… then again, when I make him read this post those feelings will come rushing back, so those sessions can linger! Hopefully here I will accomplish two things: 1. I’ll help give other Keyholders a specific idea to tease which they can use in full or part or change up as they please and 2. I’ll end up teasing the hell out of any of you chaste boys reading our blog and make you press against the confines of your cage. Really that will be helping your Keyholder as well because it’s one less time she will have to tease you! 🙂

So cagedmonkey and I have only a couple nights a week where we get to actually play for an extended amount of time. Most nights we only have like an hour once the kids go to bed and he has to leave for work. So this particular night we decided to go upstairs to watch a movie on Netflix while I had him unlocked and I would play around a little but he knew he would not be cumming. We decided on a movie and got it started, that’s when I told him to check the length, it was a 2 hour and 9 minute movie. That’s also when explained that I would be teasing him non-stop through the entire movie. That he would spend a good portion of that two hours on the edge of orgasm. The movies opening credits started and so did I. I started with just some regular moderately paced stroking. This didn’t take too long to get him right up there to the edge of orgasm and then once the moaning and slight hip action starts on his part I slowed down my strokes to just keep him there, hanging on. I did this for quite awhile, non-stop, leaving him linger on the edge for all that time. I love how his breathing gets faster and shorter and he sometimes grunts and moans at the frustration. I know he’s loving it just as much as me though. Once I had done that for a good half hour (you really don’t have to if you don’t have the arm stamina – a mix between your hand and a vibrator would work too, ladies!) he’d gotten plenty of precum built up and it started to pour out in gobs. Precum makes for great lube on the penis head! So I took advantage of that and took my left hand near the base of his shaft and pulled down on the skin of his penis until it was tight and held my hand flat against his pelvic bone and with my right hand I made an “ok sign” with the thumb and forefinger and stroked the head of his cock over and over and over. When using this technique be sure most of your stroking stays around the head. If it got too dry I’d grab a handful of shaft and drag it upward so another big drip of precum would come out for lube. I also found this fantastic new way to tease the head of the cock during this! I opened my palm and kinda made a small cupped shape so the top side (stomach side) of the glans was in the cupped part. Making sure to have it lubed well with precum I just moved my hand up and down just pushing the head of the penis in and out of that tiny cupped spot in my hand. He was bucking like crazy when I did that! I continued this for a good half an hour as well and I did throw a few strokes in here or there to keep it interesting. After that I did go back to stroking a bit but this time I added a ball massage to it… so stroking, head stroking (while pulling the shaft skin tight) and the ball massage just about four the next half an hour. Just a few minutes on each thing bringing him to the edge each time. The last half an hour I made sure to add my mouth into the mix. By this time he’s extremely sensitive so anything I’m doing is causing him to moan and groan and whimper. He knows better than to beg me to stop because nothing I’m doing is causing him pain or giving him reason to beg for relief. He just takes every ounce I have to give.

So that’s the physical part of the tease – yes arm stamina is crucial if you plan to do these things manually but a vibrator, masturbator and other toys are also a huge help. Another thing you can obviously do, if you have a wriggle worm like I do, is to tie your guys arms and legs spread eagle. That I will do if I know for sure he can’t truly handle what I’m going to give him… or if he’s feeling quite horny that I don’t think he’ll be able to keep his hands to himself. During this particular night it was about a half an hour or so into teasing him when I had to pause and tie his ass down! :)~

Now the other part to all this, ladies, is screwing with your guy mentally and emotionally. This is probably the more important part. If you’re not a big talker, trust me, when I say, that after a few times you will get better and better at “mindfucking” your guy, especially once you hear the reaction you get from doing it! This is where knowing his fantasies (or even common male fantasies) is a huge help. It’s not that hard to get started talking dirty during your tease session. The easiest way to get started is to literally describe what your doing and be sure to ask questions… even if they are rhetorical. Using phrases like “aww poor baby” or “that’s too bad” and even “I bet it feels that way.” Say things like “you love it when I stroke that cock all nice and fast, don’t you?”, “Ooo baby, how about if… I… Go… So… Sloooooooow?” It just takes that much and, of course, you can’t forget to throw in “I bet you’d love to feel my tight wet pussy wrapped around that cock cumming hard all over it” and even more importantly bringing up how long you’ve been teasing him and how much longer he still has to endure it. Not to mention talking how long it’s been since he came or how long it’s going to be until he gets to cum. Another thing that usually drives our guys crazy is us masturbating in front of them, making them watch. They want to be the ones pleasing us and we even have the power to take that away. They get to feel those jealous feelings seeing us do what they can’t do while locked up and denied. Reminding them how they can’t touch themselves, get an erection or even cum without your permission. These things all play right into the mindfucking.

One of the things I’m noticing with the chaste boy is that they love us being in control and being confident in that control. Like from across the room showing them our naked breasts, grabbing them, squeezing them together and giving them that “this is no accident, I know exactly what this is doing to you” look. It’s that kind of arrogant, sassy attitude that really gets them!

Hopefully somewhere in the length of this post you’ve found some information to help you! I always welcome questions so feel free to use the comments section. I look forward to hearing from you!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our readers and followers!!

It’s funny – today is the day that My Lady originally planned as my possible day for release during our last stint (we don’t have a definite “O Day” like some people do, I’ll get into that in another post). She ended up granting me release about a week early, but now she is moving my next possible release date to Christmas. It’s a long way off, and I doubt she will be so generous this time around.

Today, I’m able to look back and give thanks for all of the things  that I’ve been blessed with over the past few months – not just in the context of chastity, but in a general sense of contentment with my family life and all that good stuff. My current situation is the greatest example of the power of stepping past your fears and reaching for the things you want. You just might end up getting them.  🙂

Conversations in Chastity: Frustration

(Lady and cagedmonkey feel that communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and especially important in a chastity relationship. Occasionally, Lady and cagedmonkey will shed some light on what these conversations are like. What follows is a discussion between the two of them, all while posting to the blog.)

cagedmonkey: So today marks a week for me in the cage, 24/7 straight except for a small release time due to switching devices. This is usually about the time when I start feeling the need to cum grow stronger, and the feelings of frustration really start to take hold. I’m curious: is this change obvious from where you are standing, or is it a gradual slide as the days go on?

Lady: It’s really obvious when you are physically showing your frustration and your horniness. It does seem to occur day to day and sometimes can be triggered by how much physical attention (teasing) I’m offering. When you are only using your words to express it I don’t feel your level of need, other times you are basically “jumping my bones” and then it’s very obvious. LoL

cm: The only reason I haven’t been “jumping your bones” in the last few days is because we haven’t been in the same room alone for very much time. If I had more chances to do so, I would be definitely taking advantage of them! Believe it or not, pleasing you and serving you relieves some of the frustration for a short while. But the feelings come right back when you turn the focus back to driving me nutty.

Lady: So you’re saying times like this morning when I come upstairs, wake you up and end up teasing you help your frustration level? 😉

cm: I don’t know if I’d use the word “help.” 🙂 But yes, it drives me nuts! I want to be inside you, feel you without the cage around me. It feels so good, and I know it’s so far away. You don’t even know how frustrating it is at times.

Lady: No, you’re right, I can’t imagine how frustrating it is but I certainly can imagine many ways to make the frustration worse.

cm: You’ve definitely shown that you are capable of increasing my frustration. When you let me inside your wet pussy but only in the cage, it is very difficult for me to be so close to what I want but still not getting what I need.

Lady: It’s very easy for me to create frustration for you but that doesn’t mean I’M not frustrated too! It’s not the same frustration but it’s hard just the same. Like it’s easy wanting so bad to feel you? Easy to want to feel that cock sliding in and out of my pussy and cumming deep inside me? Easy to want to feeling the warmth of your skin touching mine and the heat we create between my legs when we make love… that doesn’t frustrate me?

cm: Omg……….. what were we talking about? Oh yes, FRUSTRATION!!! I understand that you can get frustrated at times, too. But look at the situation: you can unlock me at any time you want and get the things that you desire, with or without allowing me to orgasm. Your frustration is sort of self-imposed; you can end it at any time. I, on the other hand, have no choice but to suffer through the frustration until you are willing to grant me release. You have to admit, those are two completely different experiences.

Lady: Ah true but what good is getting it anytime I want when I get to enjoy all the build up before I do finally allow it and/or take it? Living in an aroused state is a wonderful feeling… but frustrating still the same 🙂 Yes, if I wanted it, I could come to you, unlock that beautiful ready and willing cock and slowly slide it in my already wet pussy and make you cum within a few thrusts… but what’s the fun in that when while you are in your super aroused state you are so sweet, physically loving and mega attentive. Once you cum that’s all over for at least a week!

cm: Ugghhhhh…. how much longer until I’m out????

Lady: Well let’s just say you’re going to be a needy, aching, desperate mess by the time Christmas gets here and I’m going to love every single minute of it 🙂

Device Review: Jailbird

I admit, I do not have extensive experience with chastity devices. The only device I’ve ever worn besides the one I am currently wearing was an “off the shelf” Birdcage. I did want to give my impressions on my newest device, a custom made Jailbird from Mature Metal. Most of my comparisons will be against the Birdcage, but some of my comments will just be what they are, not a comparison to anything.

For starters, the device is very cool looking. After My Lady and I initially settled on the Birdcage, we really started to enjoy the look of a steel cage. The Jailbird is very stylish and also very sturdy. The cage is well put together, with no spurs or pinch points that I have found so far. There have been a few occasions where pubic hair has gotten caught in various places, but I think that’s more of a result of me needing a trim than the device itself. The device is slightly wider than the Birdcage. It feels like it should be heavier as well, but it is actually lighter due to the material it is made out of (surgical steel vs. chrome plated steel).

I was surprised by how freaking comfortable this thing is! The Birdcage was very comfortable, but this Jailbird is seriously amazing. It might have to do with the fact that we ordered the oval base ring. I happen to be blessed (cursed?) with rather large testicles, and the oval ring gives them more room to breathe without allowing them to slip backwards. I think the better fitting oval ring also prevents the cage from pushing upwards when the cock attempts an erection. This was a MAJOR issue with the Birdcage, to the point where it would cause near- debilitating pain. Sure, the Jailbird is not exactly comfortable when it squeezes my balls upward as the cock tries in vain to get hard, but it’s not nearly as bad as the Birdcage.

Speaking of trying to get hard… the bars of the Jailbird are just a tiny bit thicker than the bars of the Birdcage. It’s almost hard to tell – ML insisted that I was wrong, but trust me, I’m the one wearing it and I can tell.  🙂  This comes into play when the cock gets hard and tries to press through the cage. The bars of the Birdcage sometimes felt as though they could dig into my skin. They didn’t, but I swear sometimes I got so hard in the cage it felt like it was possible! This is not a problem with the Jailbird. The bars are wide enough to distribute the and reduce the pressure. The bars are also wider apart which reduces the amount of protrusion that happens when the cock presses against the cage (when the cock would bulge out between the bars and rub on my clothing, it would cause an oversensitive pain-ish sensation… not good). The wider arrangement of the bars also allows ML better access to torture her desperate prisoner.

Overall, the comfort of the custom measurements is just one feature that makes the Jailbird a great chastity device. My cage needs to be tweaked just a bit; ML and I have decided that her cock has too much room in the cage and we must shorten the length of the shaft by about an inch. This adjustment will cost a little bit, but it is important to invest in quality when using a device for extended periods of time. For anyone participating in prolonged 24/7 chastity and are looking at this style of device (steel, open shaft), I would highly recommend the Jailbird. Even with a price tag upwards of $300, it is definitely worth the cost.

Refocusing When Life Gets in the Way

The last few days have been very busy with regular old life stuff. It seems like we’ve been on the go since Sunday morning with Baton Competition, School stuff, meetings, doctor appointments and work. I noticed last night that I am starting to feel a sort of disconnect. I’m not all crazy horny, not feeling all that sexy teasy and really not feeling all that wanted.

I realized this morning when cagedmonkey got home from work that I really miss him. I miss being in the same room, teasing him and flirting with him. I miss being the center of his attention. We’ve been so busy that our time alone together has been very little to none. We usually get at least an hour and a half together alone at night to cuddle or get in some foot, leg, body or pussy worship. It usually depends what I’m in the mood for. What hit me this morning was, after getting the kids set up with breakfast, cagedmonkey came in the kitchen, got on his knees and gave my pussy a little lick & kiss. At first I almost told him to stop but then I took a breath, relaxed my muscles and just exhaled with a little moan. At that moment the tingles went through me and I realized “holy crap I miss this!”

That got me thinking about what I’m really missing over the last couple weeks. What it comes down to is me longing for the attention, the touches, the kisses. For a couple living the Chastity Lifestyle these things are now the foreplay. For a regular vanilla couple, the touches and kisses can be far less getting to the oral which is the foreplay. In the Chastity Lifestyle the oral has become the sex and the touches, kisses and licks, the foreplay.

I figured, as a KeyHolder and wife in charge, I would write a little description of what I’d like from cagedmonkey to make up for what I’m missing:

I will direct him to get naked and get on his knees in front of me. I will tell him to remove my shirt which will expose my naked breasts. One thing he loves is to do in this position is to lick and suck my breasts but, for now, I will not give him permission for that. I will tell him to take down my pants, leaving my lacy panties in place. I’ll instruct him to get the body lotion while I lay down on my stomach on the couch. He will kneel down beside me and begin giving me a body massage with my shoulders, down my back slowly making sure his fingers touch every part of my shoulders and back. Since I’m still wearing those ever so sexy lace panties he will skip massaging my beautiful round ass. He will only be able to look at it and want to touch it, kiss it and lick it. Instead he will move to the tops of my smooth thighs and massage his way down to my ankles, taking care that his fingertips are touching every single part of me. At this point, I will turn over to lay on my back and rather than making him massage my feet with his hands, I will tell him to worship my feet. He will lick, suck and kiss my toes and feet and massage them with his tongue. He will then continue to massage back up my legs, once again skipping over my pelvic area to my stomach and chest. I will allow him to massage all of the places around my breasts but not actually touch them. These things will not only feel amazing to me but they will be torturing him because he loves my breasts, my ass and my pussy, all of which I’m not yet allowing him to have. I really want him to learn that in this lifestyle the foreplay is just as important as the oral pleasure. These are the some of the things that cause the super wet, dripping, sloppy wet pussy he loves to slurp up.

Now that we’ve gotten a good lesson in foreplay I will allow him access to the parts he loves, one by one starting with my breasts. When I feel he has done a sufficient job at worshipping them, I will give him permission to worship another area that gives me pleasure. He will continue worshipping the areas I give him permission to before he will be allowed anywhere near the sweet spot. I know all this time he will be dying to make me cum. Getting so aroused by the fact that I am in control of everything he is doing and allowed to do. I will tell him what to do and how long to do it, I’ll even correct him and tell him how to do it if necessary. I know he will be straining against the bars of his cage, wishing he could feel my pussy, touch it, taste it. Desperately wanting to see and feel my body respond to what he is doing. To feel my muscles tense up and my pussy tighten as my breath gets shorter and faster. Hearing my inability to hold back my moans while he is bringing me to the edge, pushing me past and ultimately feeling the huge squirt of my warm pussy juice filling up his mouth forcing him to swallow a few times to drink it all down.

Yup, that is what I’m missing… I wonder what my night will be like tonight! :)~